Touch is a fun sense. Well, they're all fun, aren't they? Like sound, taste, and smell that I've written about already, touch can trigger emotions and internal change. I guess that's why God gave us these wonderful senses. So we could interact with the physical world around us and have experiences that change us spiritually. Everything we come in contact with has the ability to move us closer to the Divine.
As infants we need to be held and swaddled. It develops the feeling of safety and protection needed to thrive. The deep connection between a baby and his parents is undoubtedly linked to the physical contact shared in those early years. A mother's hug is a magical healer and a father's embrace brings simple security. Expressing love in a physical way is so important when raising young children, although each individual child may seek that in a different way. My oldest daughter loves a hug--as often and as long as I can give her. My youngest daughter is a cuddler--she wants to climb up on my lap and crawl all over me. My son is more subdued--he's a hand-holder and likes to press his cheek to mine.
There are times when we just crave the touch of someone we love. That first embrace after being apart for a while is like sunshine. There is obviously a very sensuous aspect to touch as well. The right touch at the right time can raise your body temperature and send off sparks in all sorts of nerve endings. Awesome!
The sense of touch is what you use when you "feel" something--interesting that feeling and touching mean the same thing because our feelings--our emotions--can be so effected by our sense of touch. It's the most intimate of the five senses. Having another human touch your human body gives our spiritual selves a connection to another spiritual being here on Earth.
Petting a cat lowers blood pressure. Getting a massage releases toxins from the body. A tight hug calms a frantic child. A tickle results in uncontrollable laughter. A high-five bonds two people in celebration.
Think about what you communicate to someone when using your sense of touch. A firm handshake, a hand on an arm during a difficult conversation, a brush of the cheek when saying goodnight. Your touch can make another person feel comforted, special, loved, and heard. And we need to be receptive to other people doing this for us as well. It's so easy to breeze by one another in our harried lives and not make those connections. Let's strive in the New Year to slow down and hold hands more often, pat more shoulders, slow dance in the kitchen, and thumb wrestle with your favorite little person.
peace, love, and HUGS...
Monday, December 27, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Smell
I got a facial a few days ago and for an hour I relished in the decadence of lavender then coconut milk then rose water then honey being gently brushed, tapped, and spritzed on my face. Each separate balm or crème or tonic immediately clicked something in my brain. I inhaled the aroma and I physiologically changed. The power of scent is very strong. It actually is the sense most directly linked to the brain (and the emotional part of the brain at that), causing more immediate reactions than any of the other senses. Memories are attached to smells, good and bad. Sometimes we have aversions to certain smells—my husband can’t stand the smell of seafood, my mother is very sensitive to musky odors. On the other hand, I asked some readers what smells they loved: cloves, clean kids, a freshly mown lawn. Scents can stir up emotions and transport us to a different time or place. Who doesn’t smell coconut and think of the beach or pine and have visions of the Christmas tree.
Scents can also be used to balance our bodies. I am fascinated with aromatherapy and hope to incorporate it in my Feng Shui practice. I love essential oils and use them to treat different conditions such as sinus congestion, anxiety, and skin irritation. Every person’s body chemistry calls for a unique blend of smells to balance, calm, or invigorate. I look forward to studying this art and science (most likely this will appear on my Goals for 2011).
Like many things in life, we should just do what we like! Surround yourself with what makes you feel good. I burn candles all the time—sometimes it’s spicy herbal scents and sometimes its sweet vanilla, or cleansing citrus. Aim to open your windows for half an hour each day if that fresh air makes a difference in your home. Keep a sleeve of cookie dough in your fridge for impromptu baking if that nostalgic smell lifts your spirits. Have a sample size of your favorite perfume or a bottle of your go-to oil blend on hand for those times when you are overwhelmed by an unpleasing smell in your environment.
Looking forward to the New Year and considering the change and personal development we intend to work on, I thought I’d throw out the idea of using the sense of smell to aid in our success. Let’s say getting more active is a goal for 2011. Sore and achy muscles might be a hindrance to success. Try soaking in a chamomile or ginger bath. If you are aiming to live 2011 with your glass half full, try the uplifting scents of rose or bergamot. When working to learn new skills or manage your money more responsibly, rosemary can help with clear thinking and focus.
I must admit, as I write this entry my sinuses are clogged and the only smell that is squeaking through my swollen nasal passages is that of fresh stain on my new kitchen cabinets. It’s funny how the sense of smell has played such a big role in my life the past week. I’m going to go find my eucalyptus oil and set the intention to use this magnificent tool, my sense of smell, to support the work I do in 2011. More to come in this department, for sure.
peace, love, and smellin’ the roses…
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Hearing
Grinch: "That's one thing I hate. All the noise, noise, noise, NOISE."
That's for sure--at the end of the year we are bombarded with a cornucopia of auditory stimuli. There are the pleasant sounds of Christmas carols, the Salvation Army bell, sideline whistles at the football game, and squeals from kids as they spot Santa or play in the snow. There's also the sound of the frustrated person in front of you in line, the whining of the kids when they're fingers are frozen, all the electronic games and annoying singing toys, and the crowds on the street/at the mall/on the rink/etc. Put it all together and what have you got? A headache.
Try to sneak away and find some silence. There's something about the air when the temperature drops to the lower numbers...it sounds different. I don't hear it much now that I live in the South but I remember the sound of snow crunching under my boots when I lived up North. Walking in the snow at night has a feeling--and a sound--like no other. The crackle of a fire in the fireplace--turn off all other sources and sit with that sound for a bit.
On the other hand, music can lift me to a whole new energetic level. Think about those times when your favorite song comes on the car stereo and you wail out the lyrics without a care as to who may be watching you from the car beside you. I love the tone I set in my home when I put my Sunday morning acoustic music on. My whole family eases through the morning. Music can be used to get you running faster on the treadmill or open more deeply into a pose in yoga. Songs can inspire us to make positive change and can resonate with the deep emotions within us. Through the sense of hearing we can feed our souls.
As we look to the New Year and new beginnings, consider that hearing isn't only done with our ears. We each have a little voice inside of us that speaks, and that voice needs to be heard. When we hustle through life at a crazy pace trying to keep up with the Jones', or even with just our own to-do list, we lose the ability to hear that inner voice. It requires being in tune with yourself (pun intended!). That higher spirit, that voice of God that lives in all of us, will tell us what to do to reach our goals. We need to trust it, listen to it, and let it guide our journey. And in challenging times, rather that speaking and asking why, try being quiet and opening yourself to answers you hadn't considered. They might not come right away but if we keep listening we will find peace.
"Peace is not the absence of noise, trouble, or real work. It is to be in the midst of those things and be calm in your heart."
peace, love, and good vibrations~
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Taste
As I sip on my peppermint mocha coffee, I begin this diary of the five senses with the sense of taste. This time of year we are inundated, beginning with that big 'ol turkey and all it's trimmings, with flavor. Sweet, savory, creamy, crunchy, toasty, bubbly, flaky, spicy...I could go on and on. And so often, and so unfortunately, we indulge in these flavors at a big feast, plates piled high, everything running together, mindlessly being forked into our mouths. If not in that fashion it's grazing as we pass the buffet, indiscriminately popping bites in our mouths as we mingle and socialize with our loved ones. It's really no wonder we pack on the pounds this month of December.
What if we stopped and really took the time to taste the deliciousness that is so readily available to us. We look forward to the first pumpkin spice latte of the season--we savor it, we tweet about it, we buy them for our friends. What if each bite we put in our mouths were treated with such ritual. We'd never get anything done! That's what would happen! But lets do this exercise at least once a day this month. Let's sit down, with a napkin on our lap, the computer closed, the television off, and first say a quiet word of thanks. Consider all the people that played a role in that food arriving on our plate. Give thanks for all of Mother Nature's work. And let's taste our food--one bite at a time--putting our fork down between each bite.
The tip of our tongues sense sweet. The front portion of our tongues sense salty. Sour is tasted in the mid-to-back of our tongues, and bitter is noticed on the very rear of the tongue. Experiment with tasting your food and see what you notice. Pair your food with a glass of wine and pay attention to how they compliment one another. Have fun with it! But don't rush it. I'll bet you notice you feel satisfied long before finishing what you typically would in a sitting.
Find one thing each day to indulge in in this fashion. It could be a homemade cookie, a seasonable vegetable, a perfectly braised piece of beef, or even a warm bowl of oatmeal. Make note of how it makes you feel to taste your food in this way. Do it with a friend and compare experiences...just don't get to chatting and mindlessly eating! Food is meant to nourish us and fuel this body that carries us around this Earthly experience. Some reports say that one in twelve people on our planet is malnourished. How blessed we are to have such assortment of flavors and options available to us every day? Yet we spend so much time, especially this time of year, eating without appreciation--appreciation for the taste and appreciation for the sustenance.
Enjoy the parties and the holiday meals. Be mindful of what you eat, how it got to you, and of how fortunate you. Realize that tasting foods is something you can take pleasure in all year round--there's no reason to deny yourself! Start 2011 allowing yourself to fully use your sense of taste, and keep it simple. There's something to chew on for the next 5 weeks....
peace, love, and raw veggies...
What if we stopped and really took the time to taste the deliciousness that is so readily available to us. We look forward to the first pumpkin spice latte of the season--we savor it, we tweet about it, we buy them for our friends. What if each bite we put in our mouths were treated with such ritual. We'd never get anything done! That's what would happen! But lets do this exercise at least once a day this month. Let's sit down, with a napkin on our lap, the computer closed, the television off, and first say a quiet word of thanks. Consider all the people that played a role in that food arriving on our plate. Give thanks for all of Mother Nature's work. And let's taste our food--one bite at a time--putting our fork down between each bite.
The tip of our tongues sense sweet. The front portion of our tongues sense salty. Sour is tasted in the mid-to-back of our tongues, and bitter is noticed on the very rear of the tongue. Experiment with tasting your food and see what you notice. Pair your food with a glass of wine and pay attention to how they compliment one another. Have fun with it! But don't rush it. I'll bet you notice you feel satisfied long before finishing what you typically would in a sitting.
Find one thing each day to indulge in in this fashion. It could be a homemade cookie, a seasonable vegetable, a perfectly braised piece of beef, or even a warm bowl of oatmeal. Make note of how it makes you feel to taste your food in this way. Do it with a friend and compare experiences...just don't get to chatting and mindlessly eating! Food is meant to nourish us and fuel this body that carries us around this Earthly experience. Some reports say that one in twelve people on our planet is malnourished. How blessed we are to have such assortment of flavors and options available to us every day? Yet we spend so much time, especially this time of year, eating without appreciation--appreciation for the taste and appreciation for the sustenance.
Enjoy the parties and the holiday meals. Be mindful of what you eat, how it got to you, and of how fortunate you. Realize that tasting foods is something you can take pleasure in all year round--there's no reason to deny yourself! Start 2011 allowing yourself to fully use your sense of taste, and keep it simple. There's something to chew on for the next 5 weeks....
peace, love, and raw veggies...
5 weeks till New Years!
It's December 1 and there are about 5 more weeks in 2010. I've noticed as people are pulling out their holiday decorations and getting their shopping started that they are also taking this opportunity to clean out closets and clear out under the bed. Maybe it's a preemptive effort to make room for new stuff coming in. Maybe they're checking in with themselves to see if they still fit in to those dress pants they haven't worn in a while. Or maybe, subliminally, they're getting prepared for the new energy of 2011!
Life gets so crazy this time of year (so much so that that statement alone has become a cliche). All the parties and crowds and traffic and noise and layers and layers of lights. Once January rolls around it feels like we've been at an amusement park (yes--it's crazy but it's FUN!). What if we took this month not only to celebrate the season but also to clear the clutter within ourselves so we can start a fresh new year running toward our goals and aspirations? Sounds a lot better than starting it off on a diet and a spending freeze, huh?
Beginning this week, for 5 weeks I'm going to post about what we can do to prep for a stellar beginning to our new year. In considering what my themes would be I pondered the number 5 and decided to focus my writing on the 5 senses. How fun and appropriate for this overstimulating time of year! So carve out a few minutes each week to read and ready yourself for that day when the calendar flips from December to January. My hope is it might help you navigate through these crazy weeks ahead as well. They are to be savored and enjoyed. I send you and your families my sincere wishes for a happy and safe holiday!~
peace, love, and joy~~
Life gets so crazy this time of year (so much so that that statement alone has become a cliche). All the parties and crowds and traffic and noise and layers and layers of lights. Once January rolls around it feels like we've been at an amusement park (yes--it's crazy but it's FUN!). What if we took this month not only to celebrate the season but also to clear the clutter within ourselves so we can start a fresh new year running toward our goals and aspirations? Sounds a lot better than starting it off on a diet and a spending freeze, huh?
Beginning this week, for 5 weeks I'm going to post about what we can do to prep for a stellar beginning to our new year. In considering what my themes would be I pondered the number 5 and decided to focus my writing on the 5 senses. How fun and appropriate for this overstimulating time of year! So carve out a few minutes each week to read and ready yourself for that day when the calendar flips from December to January. My hope is it might help you navigate through these crazy weeks ahead as well. They are to be savored and enjoyed. I send you and your families my sincere wishes for a happy and safe holiday!~
peace, love, and joy~~
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Pause.
Being mindful can get you through the crazy times. Imagine if you didn't pay attention to what was happening around you for the next week in an effort to frantically get ready for Thanksgiving. Then the day would come and go and you'd miss the whole point of the season. By considering your choices, checking in with yourself, and smiling as you go, you remain so open to all the gifts that are presented to you throughout each day.
This is just an example. Thanksgiving is definitely on my radar even though I'm only in charge of bringing a vegetable and a dessert. But the kids are off of school next week, the reality of a holiday kitchen renovation is creeping closer, and my volunteer work is taking part-time status (at least in my mind space). This leaves me feeling overwhelmed and wondering how I can do it all well.
But this is my life! I love the speed at which I swirl around my little spot on the planet. But precious things will be missed if I'm not careful. I'm not talking about the details of the multiple projects I'm managing at any given time, although I do care about those. The precious things I can't afford to miss are the crafts that come home this time of year, the grocery store employee who could use a smile and a thank you, and the bright red leaves lying on the vibrantly green grass (saw this at the bus stop this afternoon--gorgeous).
My life isn't going to get any calmer any time soon, but I am challenged--we are all challenged--to embrace whatever pace our machine drives our spirit. And when our spirit starts to tire, shift it down a gear. Pause and watch. Then stay paused. For two more moments. Then go about your duties with a little lighter step. The world keeps revolving, your list will get all it's check marks (or maybe it won't, but that's okay!). There is absolutely no reason for any of us to go gang-busters at all we have to do if we're not going to appreciate the gift that is each day.
So spend some time with your calendar and your to-do list, and while you're at it, schedule coffee with a friend or a night on the couch with your honey. I'll be over here workin' the plan and lovin' every minute of it, while crunching leaves with my boots and sipping on a pumpkin spice latte. Now THAT'S multi-tasking!
peace, love, and cinnamon ...
Monday, October 11, 2010
Daily Arrival
I am here. I am in it and living my dream. What more could I ask for, really? Life with babies and toddlers is challenging--so challenging. The physical demands, the lack of sleep, the full range of emotions from moment to moment. I found refuge in my daydreams of a day when I could put my own needs higher on the priority list. I dreamt of being in nature, of exuding joy, of laughing with my kids (we all know toddlers offer plenty of opportunity to laugh at them), and of nurturing all my other relationships as I do my children.
Only recently have I realized that I'm here! I can sleep 9 hours at night if I chose to. I can hop on my bike and explore for hours at a time. I can find multiple reasons for joyous celebration and earnest laughter in each day. There are material things that I would like to have, new places I'd like to travel to, and goals I am still striving to achieve, but I really do feel that everything I need is already a part of my self-created life.
I write this for several reasons. One--to remind myself that it's true. We all have that little voice that creeps in to try to tell us that it's not enough. But I know that's not true. I also want to give all those Moms out there who are facing a full week ahead of runny noses, temper tantrums, and midnight blow-outs a little hope. Envision being there, wherever that is for you, and before you know it, there you are. I also want to share with all what I believe to be true -- that attitude makes all the difference. We are in charge of our quality of life and quality-control is led by a positive attitude.
So go on out and create a fantastic week for yourself!
peace, love, and bright sides...
Only recently have I realized that I'm here! I can sleep 9 hours at night if I chose to. I can hop on my bike and explore for hours at a time. I can find multiple reasons for joyous celebration and earnest laughter in each day. There are material things that I would like to have, new places I'd like to travel to, and goals I am still striving to achieve, but I really do feel that everything I need is already a part of my self-created life.
I write this for several reasons. One--to remind myself that it's true. We all have that little voice that creeps in to try to tell us that it's not enough. But I know that's not true. I also want to give all those Moms out there who are facing a full week ahead of runny noses, temper tantrums, and midnight blow-outs a little hope. Envision being there, wherever that is for you, and before you know it, there you are. I also want to share with all what I believe to be true -- that attitude makes all the difference. We are in charge of our quality of life and quality-control is led by a positive attitude.
So go on out and create a fantastic week for yourself!
peace, love, and bright sides...
Monday, September 27, 2010
Peace starts within
Have you ever said something to your partner, friend, or family member that you immediately wish you could take back? Or have you ever had an argument and woke up the next morning just wishing you had shut up and gone to bed instead? Sometimes we hurt the people we care about. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words DO hurt sometimes! Sometimes even more than sticks and stones. Words can wound us deeply, in a place that doesn't heal nearly as quickly or easily as a physical injury. Why do we do it? Sometimes when I step back and think about it I can logically tell myself that I didn't want to cause pain. That I don't want that person to be more like me--in fact, I probably didn't want me to be like me. When we let our emotions take over and allow painful words to escape, we are first and foremost disrupting the peace within ourselves. That peace was probably already compromised by fear or self-judgment if we got to the point of expressing negative sentiments, making snide remarks, or behaving in a passive-aggressive manner. We all need to have tools to recognize when these feelings are brewing inside and address what is going on within ourselves before we turn the blame on someone else. I like to envision that little flame deep in my core that never goes out. Even when it's dim, it's there, and focusing on that reminds me that I am having a human experience but I am larger than my problems and with each challenge I can learn more and become a fuller person. That light will shine brighter on the other side of this bump in the road. After going through that exercise I can soften around whatever hostility is surrounding me. In doing this, I change the whole energy of my environment.
This is what it means when we hear "Peace starts from within." And it applies to interpersonal relationships as well as it applies to world peace. Why do we hurt each other? Because we don't have peace within. It all starts with that little flame that is within all of us. It's what you see when you look yourself in the eye in the mirror--it all starts there. There's an old Chinese proverb that goes something like this: "If you have harmony within, you will have harmony at home. If you have harmony at home, you will have harmony in your community. Harmony in your community creates harmony in your country. Harmony in your country creates harmony in the world."
When you look at your neighbor, do you see a reflection of yourself? When you look at your child, do you wish they had the wisdom you've acquired through your life experiences? When you look at a politician, do you wonder how another person could have such a different view than you? Do you want everyone to be more of the same? More like you? I hope not. I hope you can look at any person and see their flaws, their beauty, their struggles, their joy...and see your own. If our hearts are open to the differences in the world, then we are honoring ourselves. With this, all of our flames can shine brightly and peace can spread from one individual to the next. Like a tidal wave it can wash over the entire planet.
peace, love, and kind words...
This is what it means when we hear "Peace starts from within." And it applies to interpersonal relationships as well as it applies to world peace. Why do we hurt each other? Because we don't have peace within. It all starts with that little flame that is within all of us. It's what you see when you look yourself in the eye in the mirror--it all starts there. There's an old Chinese proverb that goes something like this: "If you have harmony within, you will have harmony at home. If you have harmony at home, you will have harmony in your community. Harmony in your community creates harmony in your country. Harmony in your country creates harmony in the world."
When you look at your neighbor, do you see a reflection of yourself? When you look at your child, do you wish they had the wisdom you've acquired through your life experiences? When you look at a politician, do you wonder how another person could have such a different view than you? Do you want everyone to be more of the same? More like you? I hope not. I hope you can look at any person and see their flaws, their beauty, their struggles, their joy...and see your own. If our hearts are open to the differences in the world, then we are honoring ourselves. With this, all of our flames can shine brightly and peace can spread from one individual to the next. Like a tidal wave it can wash over the entire planet.
peace, love, and kind words...
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
What's Clear and Simple Isn't Always So Easy
I've had so much thought and revelation storming at me lately and I think I finally know why (thanks to a fantastic new yoga teacher I enjoyed this morning). Tomorrow is the new moon in September. Also the New Year in the Jewish calendar. Who knew I was so aligned to the lunar calendar?! Every year around this time I am drawn to the Earth, full of inward contemplation, and ready to let go of what doesn't serve me, leaving space for simple abundance.
Let me go back to where this all began--this just-completed Labor Day weekend. With the kids back in school for about 4 weeks now, we're in the full-swing of activities, school work, play dates, and volunteering. This is the soup that I thrive in! Three kids between the ages of 9 and 6--we are a full-motion family. But even on a long weekend, with a break from the regular demands of our day-to-day lives, how is it I still felt stressed and overloaded? My hardworking husband in the backyard cleaning up dry summer debris, my kids lounging around the house resting their little brains and bodies from the constant motion of the grammar school years, I sat in my office filing, responding to old (and late!) emails, pulling paperwork for a refinance, starting new school files for each child, scanning pictures for a family wedding, and paying the bills. Piles of "stuff to put away" met me as I walked out my office door, as I walked down the stairs, and as I poured a tea at the kitchen counter. There was a stack of magazines of the coffee table looking at me with puppy dog eyes, begging "Read me! Sit down...relax. Even close your eyes for a moment. Breathe. Make your mind still."
I know that all these mini-projects would still be here after the long weekend. But are there other moms out there who feel like you're always one step behind? Like if you don't tackle it now, it's going to snowball out of control. And what happens then? You disappoint someone? You miss out on an opportunity? You have to hire a babysitter so you can meet a deadline? What happens if we just say..."this will have to wait"?
Meals are another thing. As mom (and I'm sure some dads take this role on, or some combination of mom and dad--but I'm going to venture to guess it's mom in most cases), I am always thinking about food. No wonder I struggle with my weight! I've got three-to-five people to feed three meals a day to every day of the entire year. It is important to me that they are healthy, balanced, and local and/or organic when at all possible. Planning these meals. Shopping for these meals. Prepping these meals. Cooking and serving these meals. And then managing my own temper when one-to-three members of the family decide they don't like it and won't eat it. So what if they don't? They'll go to bed hungry and try again tomorrow. So what if we order out tonight for the second time this week? So what if we have sandwiches for dinner (which we NEVER do--it would make things so much easier if we did this once in a while!)?
I envision myself floating around my home, my kids teenagers, bright sunshine flooding in the windows, and being serene and peaceful, and cute. And happy. Sometimes I feel like I'm racing to get stuff done so I can somehow magically find myself at this place. The delusion I'm under, however, is that when I'm there--some 8 years from now--I'm still going to have bills to pay, meals to prepare, school projects to help with, and personal goals I'm going to be working on. I guess I envision myself being more organized, and caring less about these "what if's."
After my husband was done cleaning up the yard, he threw a baseball in the backyard with the kids then he sat down at the picnic table and they all played cards. I was still wrapped up in putting a dent in my dreaded to-do list so I could have some fun too. I paused for a moment and thought about the last time I had my kids so engaged. I'm embarrassed to say that I couldn't remember. But I'm the one that gets them off the bus and hears about their day. I get them snacks and look over their school work. I help them with their spelling words and quiz them on their facts. I break up the fights and have the conversations about respect and choices and consequences. I drop them off at piano and baseball and drama. I wonder though--how often am I really there for any of that? I'm going through the motions, getting us through one more day. All the while holding on to that vision of myself laughing with my kids as I relax on a stool next to them in my beautifully renovated kitchen.
I'm fooling myself to think I'm going to magically appear in that spot 8 years from now. All the busy work I do now is never going to get me there. It's the hard work I have to do that is going to pull me out of the pile of to-do lists and in to this place of grace. The hard work I'm talking about is stopping. I need to stop--pause--and look around me. I need to take a moment to snatch my child on my lap and give her my full attention when she's telling me a long story that's going nowhere. I need to take a few moments several times in my day to envision myself as that carefree woman. I need to be okay with putting everything else that has to be done aside so I can enjoy my kids today.
The sad part is, I know if (God forbid) one of my kids got sick or my husband was being shipped off to Afghanistan in a month I would make this happen. I would drop everything, deeming it simply unimportant, and give my full focus to my family. I would say no and have no qualms about it. I would become less of a task master and more of a mother. Ouch.
There is no reason we should require harsh wake-up calls to readjust our priorities. I have three beautiful, healthy kids and they are mine to enjoy and nurture and love. I have an incredible husband who deserves the best parts of me, not just what's left over at the end of a frazzled day. I owe it to them and to myself to put US FIRST. I may disappoint some, I may miss out on something--but the price to pay isn't worth it.
Am I alone out there? Am I the only mom who feels like this? I feel like realizing this is step one for me, but changing my ways is going to be hard. What do they say--nothing worth doing is easy? How do I approach this in a positive way that doesn't make it feel like one more thing on the top of my to-do list? Who am I going to chose to disappoint first? ... If I know I'm doing the very best I can do and my family is my number one priority, then I have to be okay with that. The alternative just isn't acceptable to me anymore.
peace, love, and turkey sandwiches...
Let me go back to where this all began--this just-completed Labor Day weekend. With the kids back in school for about 4 weeks now, we're in the full-swing of activities, school work, play dates, and volunteering. This is the soup that I thrive in! Three kids between the ages of 9 and 6--we are a full-motion family. But even on a long weekend, with a break from the regular demands of our day-to-day lives, how is it I still felt stressed and overloaded? My hardworking husband in the backyard cleaning up dry summer debris, my kids lounging around the house resting their little brains and bodies from the constant motion of the grammar school years, I sat in my office filing, responding to old (and late!) emails, pulling paperwork for a refinance, starting new school files for each child, scanning pictures for a family wedding, and paying the bills. Piles of "stuff to put away" met me as I walked out my office door, as I walked down the stairs, and as I poured a tea at the kitchen counter. There was a stack of magazines of the coffee table looking at me with puppy dog eyes, begging "Read me! Sit down...relax. Even close your eyes for a moment. Breathe. Make your mind still."
I know that all these mini-projects would still be here after the long weekend. But are there other moms out there who feel like you're always one step behind? Like if you don't tackle it now, it's going to snowball out of control. And what happens then? You disappoint someone? You miss out on an opportunity? You have to hire a babysitter so you can meet a deadline? What happens if we just say..."this will have to wait"?
Meals are another thing. As mom (and I'm sure some dads take this role on, or some combination of mom and dad--but I'm going to venture to guess it's mom in most cases), I am always thinking about food. No wonder I struggle with my weight! I've got three-to-five people to feed three meals a day to every day of the entire year. It is important to me that they are healthy, balanced, and local and/or organic when at all possible. Planning these meals. Shopping for these meals. Prepping these meals. Cooking and serving these meals. And then managing my own temper when one-to-three members of the family decide they don't like it and won't eat it. So what if they don't? They'll go to bed hungry and try again tomorrow. So what if we order out tonight for the second time this week? So what if we have sandwiches for dinner (which we NEVER do--it would make things so much easier if we did this once in a while!)?
I envision myself floating around my home, my kids teenagers, bright sunshine flooding in the windows, and being serene and peaceful, and cute. And happy. Sometimes I feel like I'm racing to get stuff done so I can somehow magically find myself at this place. The delusion I'm under, however, is that when I'm there--some 8 years from now--I'm still going to have bills to pay, meals to prepare, school projects to help with, and personal goals I'm going to be working on. I guess I envision myself being more organized, and caring less about these "what if's."
After my husband was done cleaning up the yard, he threw a baseball in the backyard with the kids then he sat down at the picnic table and they all played cards. I was still wrapped up in putting a dent in my dreaded to-do list so I could have some fun too. I paused for a moment and thought about the last time I had my kids so engaged. I'm embarrassed to say that I couldn't remember. But I'm the one that gets them off the bus and hears about their day. I get them snacks and look over their school work. I help them with their spelling words and quiz them on their facts. I break up the fights and have the conversations about respect and choices and consequences. I drop them off at piano and baseball and drama. I wonder though--how often am I really there for any of that? I'm going through the motions, getting us through one more day. All the while holding on to that vision of myself laughing with my kids as I relax on a stool next to them in my beautifully renovated kitchen.
I'm fooling myself to think I'm going to magically appear in that spot 8 years from now. All the busy work I do now is never going to get me there. It's the hard work I have to do that is going to pull me out of the pile of to-do lists and in to this place of grace. The hard work I'm talking about is stopping. I need to stop--pause--and look around me. I need to take a moment to snatch my child on my lap and give her my full attention when she's telling me a long story that's going nowhere. I need to take a few moments several times in my day to envision myself as that carefree woman. I need to be okay with putting everything else that has to be done aside so I can enjoy my kids today.
The sad part is, I know if (God forbid) one of my kids got sick or my husband was being shipped off to Afghanistan in a month I would make this happen. I would drop everything, deeming it simply unimportant, and give my full focus to my family. I would say no and have no qualms about it. I would become less of a task master and more of a mother. Ouch.
There is no reason we should require harsh wake-up calls to readjust our priorities. I have three beautiful, healthy kids and they are mine to enjoy and nurture and love. I have an incredible husband who deserves the best parts of me, not just what's left over at the end of a frazzled day. I owe it to them and to myself to put US FIRST. I may disappoint some, I may miss out on something--but the price to pay isn't worth it.
Am I alone out there? Am I the only mom who feels like this? I feel like realizing this is step one for me, but changing my ways is going to be hard. What do they say--nothing worth doing is easy? How do I approach this in a positive way that doesn't make it feel like one more thing on the top of my to-do list? Who am I going to chose to disappoint first? ... If I know I'm doing the very best I can do and my family is my number one priority, then I have to be okay with that. The alternative just isn't acceptable to me anymore.
peace, love, and turkey sandwiches...
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Riding to the next phase
After sitting at my desk for almost five hours earlier today working on my Environmental Education Committee tasks and Girl Scout projects, I decided I needed to get outside and move. I embarked downstairs to find my husband folding laundry (his favorite weekend pastime), two of the kids in front of different screens, and the youngest off at a friend's house. I declared that it was time to turn off the machinery and go for a hike! "We'll go hunting for baby frogs in the pond. We'll hike down to the old paper mills and explore the ruins. We'll splash in the creek and keep our eye out for snakes." No bites. I picked up the youngest child and got the same adamant refusal to participate in my plan to get out of the house and in to nature. After a bit of pouting I threw my bike in the car and left the rest of my family to a game of UNO and I headed to the river.
The Chattahoochee River is a few miles from my house and along it are miles of wonderful walking and biking trails. After learning from a serious biking friend that you can follow the roads for miles after the trail ends and it's still bike-friendly, I decided to venture to new places on this 90 degree Sunday afternoon. I just love being near the water and in the woods.
When I go kayaking on the river I go out each time with the intention of noticing something I have not noticed before. I've been successful each and every time. (It pains me that I haven't been out on my kayak in a while but I've sprung some sort of a leak that I need to take to the pros. It might be time for a new boat, I'm thinking.) Before too long I realized that I could make this an objective of a bike ride as well, especially when exploring new territory.
The trails along the river offer amazing shade on these North Georgia afternoons. On my mountain bike, being passed by all the street riders, I was loving the sound of the river along side the road. Sometimes out on my kayak I wondered what streets I could see beyond the trees. Even more so I wondered about the houses that lined the banks of the Chattahoochee. How dreamy would it be to be able to walk out on my back deck and see the water rushing over the rocks, catch a crane perched on a little island, and witness that mamma duck taking her chicks out for the first time in the spring.
As I was daydreaming about this I noticed some movement in the woods. I was taken aback for a moment and slowed down to see what it was. Assuming it was maybe a deer, I was surprised to see two donkeys frolicking amongst the trees. Donkeys? I noticed the dead end sign ahead and the dirt road that turned to the right, which of course, I now had to follow. I had stumbled upon Rotten Wood Farm, a run-down looking piece of property with signs posting "Don't Feed the Animals." Besides the two playful donkeys, the only other animal I saw was a baby goat, but it was a neat little find--one I'll surely visit as a biker-by again. After passing the farm I continued down this dirt and gravel road that was lined with beautiful riverfront homes. It was so quiet and peaceful. This was Old Riverside Street and it is now my new favorite street in metro Atlanta. About every 3rd house was old and in need of repair, but the riverfront property made them gems. The houses that had been renovated, or build new on the property, varied in style but all were oozing with charm and had incredible porches or lawns or glass rooms that took full advantage of the beautiful piece of nature they were perched upon.
After soaking this all in and imagining how wonderful it would be to live in one of these houses on this campy little gravel road, I headed back toward the trails that would lead me to my car. I explored the woods and got caught on a very narrow trail that was impassable at one point due to a fallen tree. Turning around, I explored more bike-friendly trails, got good and mud-splashed and made it back to my car.
When my kids were littler I used to look forward to the day when I could take them camping, mountain biking, and rafting. Well, I'm there. It's going to take some cajoling but once there's a hint of fall in the air, we're hittin' the road. I'll start them off slow but it is extremely important to me to expose my family to nature and all the beauty and fun we have at our disposal as soon as we walk outside. The PTA and the Girl Scouts and all the other activities are important, but I also have had a vision and a dream for my family that needs to be tended to. So next on my to-do list is to pick a weekend this fall to pack it up and head to the mountains for a good old fashioned family camping trip. I'll teach all of them how to open your eyes, ears, and hearts to find something new in each hike, ride, and paddle. Those things are priceless and they're no where close to what you can see on a screen.
peace, love, and the great outdoors...
The Chattahoochee River is a few miles from my house and along it are miles of wonderful walking and biking trails. After learning from a serious biking friend that you can follow the roads for miles after the trail ends and it's still bike-friendly, I decided to venture to new places on this 90 degree Sunday afternoon. I just love being near the water and in the woods.
When I go kayaking on the river I go out each time with the intention of noticing something I have not noticed before. I've been successful each and every time. (It pains me that I haven't been out on my kayak in a while but I've sprung some sort of a leak that I need to take to the pros. It might be time for a new boat, I'm thinking.) Before too long I realized that I could make this an objective of a bike ride as well, especially when exploring new territory.
The trails along the river offer amazing shade on these North Georgia afternoons. On my mountain bike, being passed by all the street riders, I was loving the sound of the river along side the road. Sometimes out on my kayak I wondered what streets I could see beyond the trees. Even more so I wondered about the houses that lined the banks of the Chattahoochee. How dreamy would it be to be able to walk out on my back deck and see the water rushing over the rocks, catch a crane perched on a little island, and witness that mamma duck taking her chicks out for the first time in the spring.
As I was daydreaming about this I noticed some movement in the woods. I was taken aback for a moment and slowed down to see what it was. Assuming it was maybe a deer, I was surprised to see two donkeys frolicking amongst the trees. Donkeys? I noticed the dead end sign ahead and the dirt road that turned to the right, which of course, I now had to follow. I had stumbled upon Rotten Wood Farm, a run-down looking piece of property with signs posting "Don't Feed the Animals." Besides the two playful donkeys, the only other animal I saw was a baby goat, but it was a neat little find--one I'll surely visit as a biker-by again. After passing the farm I continued down this dirt and gravel road that was lined with beautiful riverfront homes. It was so quiet and peaceful. This was Old Riverside Street and it is now my new favorite street in metro Atlanta. About every 3rd house was old and in need of repair, but the riverfront property made them gems. The houses that had been renovated, or build new on the property, varied in style but all were oozing with charm and had incredible porches or lawns or glass rooms that took full advantage of the beautiful piece of nature they were perched upon.
After soaking this all in and imagining how wonderful it would be to live in one of these houses on this campy little gravel road, I headed back toward the trails that would lead me to my car. I explored the woods and got caught on a very narrow trail that was impassable at one point due to a fallen tree. Turning around, I explored more bike-friendly trails, got good and mud-splashed and made it back to my car.
When my kids were littler I used to look forward to the day when I could take them camping, mountain biking, and rafting. Well, I'm there. It's going to take some cajoling but once there's a hint of fall in the air, we're hittin' the road. I'll start them off slow but it is extremely important to me to expose my family to nature and all the beauty and fun we have at our disposal as soon as we walk outside. The PTA and the Girl Scouts and all the other activities are important, but I also have had a vision and a dream for my family that needs to be tended to. So next on my to-do list is to pick a weekend this fall to pack it up and head to the mountains for a good old fashioned family camping trip. I'll teach all of them how to open your eyes, ears, and hearts to find something new in each hike, ride, and paddle. Those things are priceless and they're no where close to what you can see on a screen.
peace, love, and the great outdoors...
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Self-Indulgence at its BEST
I just went to see the movie Eat, Pray, Love and my mind is swimming with ideas. The stand-out concept that is sticking out to me is "self-indulgence." This blog itself is self-indulgence for me because I get to hash out all the little conversations I have in my head, as if I'm speaking with another person. The exercise of writing has always helped me make clear the cluttered nature of my thoughts.
So I'm going to assume you've read Eat, Pray, Love because, well, everyone has. Or should. And if you haven't I'm sure you'll still follow. Liz goes to Italy and eats with free-abandon. She goes to India and wallows in her loneliness. She goes to Bali and learns that giving to herself is not a shameful thing. I heard critiques that Liz had such a good life and had so much to be grateful for--why was she so miserable? Well, she was. We can have a life full of beautiful, precious, and priceless people/things/experiences but only we know, deep down in our soul, if we have what we need to truly be happy. It is brave to walk away from everything comfortable and safe when you're on the quest for your own happiness. And happiness doesn't even seem like the right word, because we can be happy for sure in our lives, but not know that place, that inner peace, that calm that shines from within. It is in us--in all of us--and we don't need to travel the world to find it. Of course, that was the point of the book, if you chose to see it that way.
(quest quote from movie/book in Bali)
As I was sipping my coffee this morning my husband came to kiss me goodbye and asked what I was up to for the day. I hesitated, wondering if I should be nonchalant and tell I didn't know, I was going to take care of things, I was still deciding...going to the movies at 10:20 in the morning while the kids were at school sounded too self-indulgent. But I was honest and I told him, and I sensed a slight bit of "oh, must be nice." I told him to have a good day and he replied "I'll try." So the justifications start in my head: he just got back from a road trip with his brother, I've been working hard on PTA and household finance stuff, I'll make sure the laundry is put away and I cook dinner tonight. So off I go to the mall, buy my ticket, popcorn, and diet Coke (quite the indulgent breakfast!) and walk in to the theater to see, of course, 5 other women that look just like me. Moms no doubt, big purses, cell phones, diet Cokes (that's why they have a 10:20 movie on a weekday anyway, isn't it? Come on.). So I watch the movie (which was good but the book was way better, again, of course) and when it's over I walk out and turn my cell phone back on to see a text "can u talk right now?" from my husband. Oh shit. The movie on a Thursday morning was too much. I shouldn't have told him--I should have been vague. Oh well, he'll have to deal with it. Unless--oh wait--maybe someone got hurt, maybe there's so drama. What did I miss in the 2 hours and 13 minutes I was in the theater indulging in a movie?
His voice was very chipper when I called him. He was on his way to pick up a couple friends and head down to the baseball game where he would enjoy an afternoon drinking beer and eating peanuts right behind home plate for free! How INDULGENT of him on a Thursday afternoon! I didn't care--how great is it that those tickets were offered to him and the timing worked out with his job that he could take advantage of this good fortune? Hooray for him! Then I realized, he felt the same way about me when I told him I was going to a movie. I heard envy in his voice this morning but it wasn't really there. That disapproving voice came within myself, not from him. I could spend the whole day in the spa, have lunch and wine with girlfriends, and buy myself some new jewelry after going kayaking on the river and he'd be happy for me. It reminds me of the part of the story when the Italian barber is talking about Americans. He said we know about entertainment but we don't know about pleasure. We deny ourselves the right to experience pleasure, in even the most simple things! I had fresh blueberries over organic low fat vanilla yogurt yesterday and I ate it slowly and mindfully and although I was by myself in my kitchen I still let out an audible mmmmm. Food, wine, sex, music, shoes, exercise, laughter, sunlight, rain, lip gloss, scotch, linens, lotion, grass, mud, hammocks, kissing, pets, kids, art, candles, coffee, cheese, sleep. So many opportunities for pleasure throughout each and every day. We just have to stop and appreciate them! And allow ourselves to feel indulgent, and know that we are worthy of it. I'm glowing just thinking about it!!
So I guess my point is, and the resolution to all the swarming and contradicting thoughts in my head is, self-indulgence is okay, and let me even say necessary! And being grateful for what you have, truly grateful, but still searching within yourself to find that spark that ignites your soul is okay, and is necessary. This energy is contagious, and it's calming. It doesn't have to come at the expense of something else, and shame or guilt are not a part of this equation. Self-indulgence is not an evil thing. Now, I'm going to go slice some cucumber and pull some mint from my herb garden to put in a glass of ice water on this steamy Georgia afternoon. I'm going to hug my kids, help them with their homework, put away some laundry, and fix dinner. I am so grateful to recognize today how self-indulgent every day of my life is if I look at it all with gratitude.
peace, love, and dark chocolate (I can't believe I forgot dark chocolate)...
So I'm going to assume you've read Eat, Pray, Love because, well, everyone has. Or should. And if you haven't I'm sure you'll still follow. Liz goes to Italy and eats with free-abandon. She goes to India and wallows in her loneliness. She goes to Bali and learns that giving to herself is not a shameful thing. I heard critiques that Liz had such a good life and had so much to be grateful for--why was she so miserable? Well, she was. We can have a life full of beautiful, precious, and priceless people/things/experiences but only we know, deep down in our soul, if we have what we need to truly be happy. It is brave to walk away from everything comfortable and safe when you're on the quest for your own happiness. And happiness doesn't even seem like the right word, because we can be happy for sure in our lives, but not know that place, that inner peace, that calm that shines from within. It is in us--in all of us--and we don't need to travel the world to find it. Of course, that was the point of the book, if you chose to see it that way.
(quest quote from movie/book in Bali)
As I was sipping my coffee this morning my husband came to kiss me goodbye and asked what I was up to for the day. I hesitated, wondering if I should be nonchalant and tell I didn't know, I was going to take care of things, I was still deciding...going to the movies at 10:20 in the morning while the kids were at school sounded too self-indulgent. But I was honest and I told him, and I sensed a slight bit of "oh, must be nice." I told him to have a good day and he replied "I'll try." So the justifications start in my head: he just got back from a road trip with his brother, I've been working hard on PTA and household finance stuff, I'll make sure the laundry is put away and I cook dinner tonight. So off I go to the mall, buy my ticket, popcorn, and diet Coke (quite the indulgent breakfast!) and walk in to the theater to see, of course, 5 other women that look just like me. Moms no doubt, big purses, cell phones, diet Cokes (that's why they have a 10:20 movie on a weekday anyway, isn't it? Come on.). So I watch the movie (which was good but the book was way better, again, of course) and when it's over I walk out and turn my cell phone back on to see a text "can u talk right now?" from my husband. Oh shit. The movie on a Thursday morning was too much. I shouldn't have told him--I should have been vague. Oh well, he'll have to deal with it. Unless--oh wait--maybe someone got hurt, maybe there's so drama. What did I miss in the 2 hours and 13 minutes I was in the theater indulging in a movie?
His voice was very chipper when I called him. He was on his way to pick up a couple friends and head down to the baseball game where he would enjoy an afternoon drinking beer and eating peanuts right behind home plate for free! How INDULGENT of him on a Thursday afternoon! I didn't care--how great is it that those tickets were offered to him and the timing worked out with his job that he could take advantage of this good fortune? Hooray for him! Then I realized, he felt the same way about me when I told him I was going to a movie. I heard envy in his voice this morning but it wasn't really there. That disapproving voice came within myself, not from him. I could spend the whole day in the spa, have lunch and wine with girlfriends, and buy myself some new jewelry after going kayaking on the river and he'd be happy for me. It reminds me of the part of the story when the Italian barber is talking about Americans. He said we know about entertainment but we don't know about pleasure. We deny ourselves the right to experience pleasure, in even the most simple things! I had fresh blueberries over organic low fat vanilla yogurt yesterday and I ate it slowly and mindfully and although I was by myself in my kitchen I still let out an audible mmmmm. Food, wine, sex, music, shoes, exercise, laughter, sunlight, rain, lip gloss, scotch, linens, lotion, grass, mud, hammocks, kissing, pets, kids, art, candles, coffee, cheese, sleep. So many opportunities for pleasure throughout each and every day. We just have to stop and appreciate them! And allow ourselves to feel indulgent, and know that we are worthy of it. I'm glowing just thinking about it!!
So I guess my point is, and the resolution to all the swarming and contradicting thoughts in my head is, self-indulgence is okay, and let me even say necessary! And being grateful for what you have, truly grateful, but still searching within yourself to find that spark that ignites your soul is okay, and is necessary. This energy is contagious, and it's calming. It doesn't have to come at the expense of something else, and shame or guilt are not a part of this equation. Self-indulgence is not an evil thing. Now, I'm going to go slice some cucumber and pull some mint from my herb garden to put in a glass of ice water on this steamy Georgia afternoon. I'm going to hug my kids, help them with their homework, put away some laundry, and fix dinner. I am so grateful to recognize today how self-indulgent every day of my life is if I look at it all with gratitude.
peace, love, and dark chocolate (I can't believe I forgot dark chocolate)...
Sunday, August 15, 2010
If These Walls Could Talk
I took my kids to see Toy Story 3 today and was reminded of a couple of Feng Shui principles (between laughing and crying at such a wonderful story). Even if you haven't seen the movie, pretty much everyone knows the premise, right? The toys come alive when the humans are not around. Who are we to say this doesn't ever happen anyway. I swear my glasses make the rounds of my house every day. These toys--a cowboy, a space ranger, a slinky, Mr. Potato Head--they all love the little boy to whom they belong. He drags them out in the yard, sleeps with them, takes them on errands with his mom, but most importantly, he brings them to life with his imagination.
In the third movie, this little boy is now 17 and is headed off to college. Throughout the movie I was thinking about "things" and how we treat the material objects in our lives. What if everything we owned came to life when we weren't around. What would they say? Would they be happy? Would they be as devoted to us as Woody is to Andy? With Feng Shui we are challenged to look at everything in our environments as being alive--alive with chi, with life energy. Our memories, our behaviors, our emotions are absorbed in to the matter of these objects. If years of holiday meals are shared over a dining table, that table holds the energy of those people, of those gatherings, of the bread that was broken there. If intimate parent/child talks are had on a front porch swing, that swing holds the energy of that relationship, that precious connection, those emotions. That table should remain polished, screws tightened, wood protected. The chain that holds that swing should not get rusty, the pollen should be cleaned off, the cushions fluffed.
Remember also that our environment is a reflection of what is going on within our spirits. Look around you. What do you see? Really look, and consider if this rings true for you. I'm willing to bet on some level it does. Everything you own should be precious to you. Keep in mind the role these objects have in holding you back or moving you forward. If you are divorced and are still sleeping on the same mattress, get a new one. If there's a dent in your bike helmet that reminds you of that big wreck, treat yourself to a new helmet. Does your artwork represent who you are? Does your couch make you feel comforted? Live with what you love, and love what you live with.
On the morning the boy in the movie was heading off to college, his mom walked in his room and gasped because he had taken all the posters off his walls, all his belongings either packed away or passed on. It was a shell of a room. A room that just the day before felt like her son. He slept and played and studied and grew up there, and his energy was sucked up by those four walls and everything else within them. As a mom I could totally relate to this moment. I look around me now and see my kids' books, a barbie doll, a plate made in art class, nail polish, and photographs. My kids are tucked in their beds asleep right now, but they are all around me. This house pulses with their energy all the time. If all of these items that remind me of them were in one day gone, it would take my breath away too.
In the end even Andy had a hard time letting go of the one thing that most reminded him of his childhood. Was he ready to grow up? Was he ready to move on? We need to consider if letting something go is going to open up space for something new and wonderful to enter. I sometimes pretend that material things are of no importance, but sometimes they are. I have an altar filled with simple and thoughtful gifts from precious friends and I could never get rid of these items for the sake of "spring cleaning." At least not now. Right now they reflect who I am and what is important to me.
When my grandmother passed this spring, my mom and my uncle had the daunting task of going through her belongings and determining what should be kept (and by whom) and what should be thrown away or donated. Nana is gone--these things are of no use to her anymore. But these things hold memories for the rest of us. The costume jewelry, the funky glasses, the blankets she knitted. We now look at them and smile, remembering her fondly.
So this week why don't you pick a room a day to explore. Just sit in that space for a few minutes and look at what's around you. If it came alive when you left the room, would it be happy? What kind of energy has it soaked up in the time that you've had it? Does it reflect who you are now? Does it support where your life path is taking you? Is there someone else that would benefit from it far more than you would? Just one room a day. Give it a try and let me know how it goes!
peace, love, and a few of my favorite things...
In the third movie, this little boy is now 17 and is headed off to college. Throughout the movie I was thinking about "things" and how we treat the material objects in our lives. What if everything we owned came to life when we weren't around. What would they say? Would they be happy? Would they be as devoted to us as Woody is to Andy? With Feng Shui we are challenged to look at everything in our environments as being alive--alive with chi, with life energy. Our memories, our behaviors, our emotions are absorbed in to the matter of these objects. If years of holiday meals are shared over a dining table, that table holds the energy of those people, of those gatherings, of the bread that was broken there. If intimate parent/child talks are had on a front porch swing, that swing holds the energy of that relationship, that precious connection, those emotions. That table should remain polished, screws tightened, wood protected. The chain that holds that swing should not get rusty, the pollen should be cleaned off, the cushions fluffed.
Remember also that our environment is a reflection of what is going on within our spirits. Look around you. What do you see? Really look, and consider if this rings true for you. I'm willing to bet on some level it does. Everything you own should be precious to you. Keep in mind the role these objects have in holding you back or moving you forward. If you are divorced and are still sleeping on the same mattress, get a new one. If there's a dent in your bike helmet that reminds you of that big wreck, treat yourself to a new helmet. Does your artwork represent who you are? Does your couch make you feel comforted? Live with what you love, and love what you live with.
On the morning the boy in the movie was heading off to college, his mom walked in his room and gasped because he had taken all the posters off his walls, all his belongings either packed away or passed on. It was a shell of a room. A room that just the day before felt like her son. He slept and played and studied and grew up there, and his energy was sucked up by those four walls and everything else within them. As a mom I could totally relate to this moment. I look around me now and see my kids' books, a barbie doll, a plate made in art class, nail polish, and photographs. My kids are tucked in their beds asleep right now, but they are all around me. This house pulses with their energy all the time. If all of these items that remind me of them were in one day gone, it would take my breath away too.
In the end even Andy had a hard time letting go of the one thing that most reminded him of his childhood. Was he ready to grow up? Was he ready to move on? We need to consider if letting something go is going to open up space for something new and wonderful to enter. I sometimes pretend that material things are of no importance, but sometimes they are. I have an altar filled with simple and thoughtful gifts from precious friends and I could never get rid of these items for the sake of "spring cleaning." At least not now. Right now they reflect who I am and what is important to me.
When my grandmother passed this spring, my mom and my uncle had the daunting task of going through her belongings and determining what should be kept (and by whom) and what should be thrown away or donated. Nana is gone--these things are of no use to her anymore. But these things hold memories for the rest of us. The costume jewelry, the funky glasses, the blankets she knitted. We now look at them and smile, remembering her fondly.
So this week why don't you pick a room a day to explore. Just sit in that space for a few minutes and look at what's around you. If it came alive when you left the room, would it be happy? What kind of energy has it soaked up in the time that you've had it? Does it reflect who you are now? Does it support where your life path is taking you? Is there someone else that would benefit from it far more than you would? Just one room a day. Give it a try and let me know how it goes!
peace, love, and a few of my favorite things...
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Memories Can't Be Chosen
I've just concluded my 9th summer of being a Mom. This year I had 11 weeks with my 9-year old, 7-year old, and 6-year old. The time was filled with lots of travel, family, swimming, video games, birthday parties...so much fun that much of it is a blur to me now. I step back and take a deep breath, a little bit grateful that it's all over and we can get back to our routine. For my kids though, these will be some of their first memories.
I remember counting to 100 for my kindergarten teacher. I remember when my parents told me we were adding a third child to the family. I remember walking home during the blizzard of '78 and getting stuck in the snow. There are a million memories between then and now that influence me, consciously or unconsciously, on a daily basis. My experiences make me who I am.
My choices also make me who I am. The life I have lived up to this moment cannot be changed and to sit with myself, I can say I am a fortunate woman who has been given great opportunities, much love, and an abundance of blessings. The choices I make from this moment on will create the life I one day, years from now, will look back on with contemplation again. If I close my eyes and float myself forward on the number line 10 years, I can't even imagine the memories that will have been implanted in my soul. I know that I will be a richer, deeper woman.
Thinking of my children, their young lives, and these early memories that will be their first--losing a tooth in Alaska, hours of water slides and roller coasters, fireworks over the beach at Nana-the-Great's house--I am giving them experiences that will influence who they become. Will they remember that they fought about where they would sit every time they got in the car? Will they recall the dilly-dallying, the messy rooms, the broken electronics? Maybe. Maybe not. Will they remember that Mom was always yelling as we pulled out of the driveway (because no one could pick a seat), or that Dad was frustrated with them a lot (because everything should have it's place, and that's NOT on the kitchen floor)? Maybe. Maybe not.
I can't pick and chose what becomes part of the fiber of their being. The only thing that I can control is my own behavior. The choices I make not only play a role in the person I become, my choices affect the people that my children will become. When they look back at their mother, from their first memories and throughout their upbringing, what will that look like? I think it's a good exercise to go through. I can guarantee that the picture I'd like them to have is very similar to the picture I would like to see for myself.
We sometimes sacrifice little pieces of happiness in our lives in the name of something we deem more important. What we need to realize is that making the choice to give that up not only lessens our chances of living a full life, which we find justifications for all the time, it alters the experience of those around us. We are all connected. If we act from our hearts and our spirits with pure intentions for ourselves the goal of a full, happy life then we are giving our children permission to do the same for themselves. Isn't that something we all wish for our children?
I am not always guided by the light that is within me, but I want to be. I'm realizing that one of the best ways for me to teach my children to recognize and follow that light is to work to do it myself. Why we make excuses or devalue this process for ourselves I don't know. I think it's part ego and the influences of society and worldly things. It's easier to say we want this state of grace for our children, but you know what? There is enough for all of us.
I want my children to remember a laughing Mommy. I want them to have memories of physical affection and unwavering support. I want them to remember parents who were united and loving. I want them to have memories of their mother explaining that even she gets sad sometimes, but always knowing that life is good. Memories of their mom snatching them up in her arms and saying "I'm sorry for losing my temper--I could have done better." This is the role I can take in the lives that are being woven under this roof. These are the choices that I can make. Because as a dear friend recently reminded me,
peace, love, and precious memories...
I remember counting to 100 for my kindergarten teacher. I remember when my parents told me we were adding a third child to the family. I remember walking home during the blizzard of '78 and getting stuck in the snow. There are a million memories between then and now that influence me, consciously or unconsciously, on a daily basis. My experiences make me who I am.
My choices also make me who I am. The life I have lived up to this moment cannot be changed and to sit with myself, I can say I am a fortunate woman who has been given great opportunities, much love, and an abundance of blessings. The choices I make from this moment on will create the life I one day, years from now, will look back on with contemplation again. If I close my eyes and float myself forward on the number line 10 years, I can't even imagine the memories that will have been implanted in my soul. I know that I will be a richer, deeper woman.
Thinking of my children, their young lives, and these early memories that will be their first--losing a tooth in Alaska, hours of water slides and roller coasters, fireworks over the beach at Nana-the-Great's house--I am giving them experiences that will influence who they become. Will they remember that they fought about where they would sit every time they got in the car? Will they recall the dilly-dallying, the messy rooms, the broken electronics? Maybe. Maybe not. Will they remember that Mom was always yelling as we pulled out of the driveway (because no one could pick a seat), or that Dad was frustrated with them a lot (because everything should have it's place, and that's NOT on the kitchen floor)? Maybe. Maybe not.
I can't pick and chose what becomes part of the fiber of their being. The only thing that I can control is my own behavior. The choices I make not only play a role in the person I become, my choices affect the people that my children will become. When they look back at their mother, from their first memories and throughout their upbringing, what will that look like? I think it's a good exercise to go through. I can guarantee that the picture I'd like them to have is very similar to the picture I would like to see for myself.
We sometimes sacrifice little pieces of happiness in our lives in the name of something we deem more important. What we need to realize is that making the choice to give that up not only lessens our chances of living a full life, which we find justifications for all the time, it alters the experience of those around us. We are all connected. If we act from our hearts and our spirits with pure intentions for ourselves the goal of a full, happy life then we are giving our children permission to do the same for themselves. Isn't that something we all wish for our children?
I am not always guided by the light that is within me, but I want to be. I'm realizing that one of the best ways for me to teach my children to recognize and follow that light is to work to do it myself. Why we make excuses or devalue this process for ourselves I don't know. I think it's part ego and the influences of society and worldly things. It's easier to say we want this state of grace for our children, but you know what? There is enough for all of us.
I want my children to remember a laughing Mommy. I want them to have memories of physical affection and unwavering support. I want them to remember parents who were united and loving. I want them to have memories of their mother explaining that even she gets sad sometimes, but always knowing that life is good. Memories of their mom snatching them up in her arms and saying "I'm sorry for losing my temper--I could have done better." This is the role I can take in the lives that are being woven under this roof. These are the choices that I can make. Because as a dear friend recently reminded me,
Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be......
peace, love, and precious memories...
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Consider This Moment
Being present makes us aware of the affect we have on the world and ways in which everything in our environment impacts us. How often do you go to bed at night and feel like you've been on auto-pilot all day? Or find yourself sitting at your desk but don't really remember the drive to work? Or look back at a vacation and find that it's all a blur? When we are truly present in a moment, that moment becomes part of the fiber of who we are. It enables us to see our true selves as we experience people and situations and notice how we think and feel about these impressions on our lives. Being present in every moment of every day is a huge task. I want to be here for all the moments in my life, but my tendency is to daydream to the future. Others I know, tend to think of the past as they continue down their path. Living in the now gives us more opportunity to experience the grace of the beautiful life we already have, right now. I am working to slow down, savor the little things that are so easily overlooked, and create a full, rich life for myself each day.
My husband recently turned 50 and on his 49th birthday he started keeping track of all the live music he witnessed in that year before this big landmark. He saw 125 performances in one year. Now, he doesn't always remember the conversation we had 2 nights ago, and I can often tell that even though he's standing right next to me, his mind is somewhere else. But when he is in front of live music being played, he is present. He devours every note and imprints every song in his mind. He knows set lists of concerts he saw 20 years ago. That is being present.
Looking back at 365 days and being able to say that, at the very least, he had 125 episodes of being fully in the moment...that is pretty impressive. His spirit is soaring when he is in the place. In the same way some spirits soar when working in a garden, or reading books to children, or practicing yoga. The challenge is to find this experience in everyday tasks. How can folding laundry lift our spirits? That's up to each of us to discover for ourselves, but I suggest starting with gratitude. Being thankful for everything that has led up to the task of folding that shirt. The cotton grown from the Earth, the many hands that turned that cotton into a shirt, the resources to have that shirt to keep you protected and warm, the water that brings it back to clean time and time again... give it a try. Over time it will be something that comes more naturally. When I was dishes, I sometimes literally tell myself "I am washing dishes," just to bring me back to the moment. It helps to keep me from saying "I can't believe I'm washing dishes AGAIN. I would rather be reading a magazine. I wish one of my kids was washing the dishes instead of me." That changes the quality of my moment. I don't want a lifetime of mediocre moments. I want a lifetime of precious moments, and that is up to me to create.
peace, love, and smelling the roses...
My husband recently turned 50 and on his 49th birthday he started keeping track of all the live music he witnessed in that year before this big landmark. He saw 125 performances in one year. Now, he doesn't always remember the conversation we had 2 nights ago, and I can often tell that even though he's standing right next to me, his mind is somewhere else. But when he is in front of live music being played, he is present. He devours every note and imprints every song in his mind. He knows set lists of concerts he saw 20 years ago. That is being present.
Looking back at 365 days and being able to say that, at the very least, he had 125 episodes of being fully in the moment...that is pretty impressive. His spirit is soaring when he is in the place. In the same way some spirits soar when working in a garden, or reading books to children, or practicing yoga. The challenge is to find this experience in everyday tasks. How can folding laundry lift our spirits? That's up to each of us to discover for ourselves, but I suggest starting with gratitude. Being thankful for everything that has led up to the task of folding that shirt. The cotton grown from the Earth, the many hands that turned that cotton into a shirt, the resources to have that shirt to keep you protected and warm, the water that brings it back to clean time and time again... give it a try. Over time it will be something that comes more naturally. When I was dishes, I sometimes literally tell myself "I am washing dishes," just to bring me back to the moment. It helps to keep me from saying "I can't believe I'm washing dishes AGAIN. I would rather be reading a magazine. I wish one of my kids was washing the dishes instead of me." That changes the quality of my moment. I don't want a lifetime of mediocre moments. I want a lifetime of precious moments, and that is up to me to create.
peace, love, and smelling the roses...
Monday, July 19, 2010
Working through Monday morning thoughts
Fear
Judgment
Power
Fear of being judged
Judgment is other people's fear reflected on you
Giving the power to that other person's fear takes it away from you
Instead, look with love upon that judgment
Maybe that will ease the other person's fear
It will certainly increase your power
Either way, this seems much better than the alternative.
Judgment
Power
Fear of being judged
Judgment is other people's fear reflected on you
Giving the power to that other person's fear takes it away from you
Instead, look with love upon that judgment
Maybe that will ease the other person's fear
It will certainly increase your power
Either way, this seems much better than the alternative.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Using Our Words for Good
In studying the 5th chakra I realized how much the lessons here are a part of my life and recognize that I am much further along on my spiritual path than I was a few years ago. The 5th chakra teaches us a lot about judgement, the power of the words we speak, and about faith.
I have always had this fear of being judged. As a younger person it was wanting to fit in--very typical as we struggle through the social challenges of adolescence. I talk to my kids a lot about how each one of us is so special and unique, quoting Forrest Gump--"I am as God made me." We each have many gifts and if one of us were not here, the world would be very different.
As an adult I was afraid others would think I wasn't an attentive enough mother, that I hired too many babysitters, that I had one too many glasses of wine, or that I neglected the cleaning of my house or (gulp) my car. But if I am okay with myself, then I can't be judged. I can't allow other people's "stuff" to determine how I feel about my choices or my life.
In turn, I try not to judge others. I have learned, oh have I learned, that until I walk a mile in someone else's shoes, I cannot know what it is like to live their life. And I believe that most people do the best with what they have to work with. As Maya Angelou said--we do the best with what we know, and when we know better we do better. For that reason I don't think it's fair to gossip about other people. Why do we take pleasure in other people's struggles? If we spoke healing words or words of concern, healing energy can find them. But words of judgement and condemnation just reflect back on us and cast a shadow on our light. I'm not saying I never fall victim to the temptation to butt in to someones business, but I know it is far more productive to interact face to face with people than behind their back. That's how I want people to treat me--it's the Golden Rule, right? Treat others as you want to be treated. So simple yet so challenging in today's competitive world. But how do we have room to love someone if we're judging them? (Mother Theresa -- I'm full of them today!)
I think sometimes this competitiveness comes from fear. Fear that we ourselves are not doing a good enough job (in who's eyes?--I challenge us to ask). Also fear that someone else's success will somehow diminish our opportunities for success. There is enough happiness/love/success/joy/peace for all of us. Having faith that if we follow the right path we will have the life we dream of is a big step in spiritual growth. We might not get handed lemonade every day, but the sugar and water of most days help us to see the potential for the lemons on those other days. (Even if it means trading them in for limes and making margaritas!)
I know that I have a blessed life and that I have many angels looking out for me. I know I have a tremendous power to spread good in the world--we all do. And every night I rest my head knowing I did my very best that day. Let us all be gentle with our words, generous with our love, and faithful in our ways.
peace, love, and acceptance~
I have always had this fear of being judged. As a younger person it was wanting to fit in--very typical as we struggle through the social challenges of adolescence. I talk to my kids a lot about how each one of us is so special and unique, quoting Forrest Gump--"I am as God made me." We each have many gifts and if one of us were not here, the world would be very different.
As an adult I was afraid others would think I wasn't an attentive enough mother, that I hired too many babysitters, that I had one too many glasses of wine, or that I neglected the cleaning of my house or (gulp) my car. But if I am okay with myself, then I can't be judged. I can't allow other people's "stuff" to determine how I feel about my choices or my life.
In turn, I try not to judge others. I have learned, oh have I learned, that until I walk a mile in someone else's shoes, I cannot know what it is like to live their life. And I believe that most people do the best with what they have to work with. As Maya Angelou said--we do the best with what we know, and when we know better we do better. For that reason I don't think it's fair to gossip about other people. Why do we take pleasure in other people's struggles? If we spoke healing words or words of concern, healing energy can find them. But words of judgement and condemnation just reflect back on us and cast a shadow on our light. I'm not saying I never fall victim to the temptation to butt in to someones business, but I know it is far more productive to interact face to face with people than behind their back. That's how I want people to treat me--it's the Golden Rule, right? Treat others as you want to be treated. So simple yet so challenging in today's competitive world. But how do we have room to love someone if we're judging them? (Mother Theresa -- I'm full of them today!)
I think sometimes this competitiveness comes from fear. Fear that we ourselves are not doing a good enough job (in who's eyes?--I challenge us to ask). Also fear that someone else's success will somehow diminish our opportunities for success. There is enough happiness/love/success/joy/peace for all of us. Having faith that if we follow the right path we will have the life we dream of is a big step in spiritual growth. We might not get handed lemonade every day, but the sugar and water of most days help us to see the potential for the lemons on those other days. (Even if it means trading them in for limes and making margaritas!)
I know that I have a blessed life and that I have many angels looking out for me. I know I have a tremendous power to spread good in the world--we all do. And every night I rest my head knowing I did my very best that day. Let us all be gentle with our words, generous with our love, and faithful in our ways.
peace, love, and acceptance~
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Let Loose and Love
After a week of having my kids home for summer break I am reminded of the range and freedom of emotion that children have. They cry, laugh, whine, and scream alternatively throughout the day - everyday - repeatedly. I'll admit that many days I feel the pain, glee, frustration, and anger that they feel but as an adult I've grown to control the outward expression of these emotions. Imagine if adults didn't develop that control--what a mess we'd all be!
For me, knowing that each experience I have is there to teach me something eases me from one challenging moment to the next. This is easy to do when the salsa spills on the carpet or I stub my toe on the kitchen table for the 100th time. I may have an immediate outburst, but am able to move on and maintain some sort of emotional equilibrium. But what about the really big wounds? Those damages that happen that don't cause us to yell out, but rather cause us to yell in. These are the hurts that really damage us. And it's not the action or event itself that can start the negative spiral, it's the way we internalize the pain. We hold on to it, bury it, maybe even forget about it on a conscious level. This "injury" becomes part of who we are. The negative currents affiliated with the feelings of hurt or betrayal or violation that we hold on to penetrate our cells and become part of our physical selves. Not only can it cause illness in our bodies, that energy also pulsates outward and attracts more of the same damaging energy right back to us. We all know someone who was in a bad relationship and continues, time after time, to chose other ill-fitted partners.
In a way, our kids' approach probably works better. They let it out and let it go. Our challenge as adults is to find a way to do that as well--in order to set ourselves free from that weight and that burden. The 4th chakra is the place where the emotional meets the spiritual, and that is where this work is done--in the heart. Compassion and forgiveness are the tools we use to release us from the negative spiral and lift us toward a more peaceful place. There is risk involved by becoming vulnerable and putting ourselves out there. It requires a level of maturity and, as I often discuss, self-love. Forgiveness is a gift to ourselves, not to our offenders. We release the power outside occurrences have over our well-being and give ourselves permission to heal, learn, and continue on wiser. And looking with compassion at the people we would otherwise judge gives us the wonderful opportunity to learn something about the world, about ourselves, and to experience deep gratitude for all that is good in our own lives.
Living in the role of a victim is no way to live. The word victim is defined as "a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance, by the dishonesty of others, or by some impersonal agency." "...as by his or her own emotions or ignorance..." Open your heart. Take charge of your emotional well-being. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness. Look with compassion upon the world. Live out loud and let go. Risk. Give thanks. Laugh big. Cry hard. Feel what you need to feel and allow yourself to get through to the other side. This will make us whole, and this will heal our hurt, and this will offer us the opportunity for the greatest happiness.
peace, love, and more LOVE...
For me, knowing that each experience I have is there to teach me something eases me from one challenging moment to the next. This is easy to do when the salsa spills on the carpet or I stub my toe on the kitchen table for the 100th time. I may have an immediate outburst, but am able to move on and maintain some sort of emotional equilibrium. But what about the really big wounds? Those damages that happen that don't cause us to yell out, but rather cause us to yell in. These are the hurts that really damage us. And it's not the action or event itself that can start the negative spiral, it's the way we internalize the pain. We hold on to it, bury it, maybe even forget about it on a conscious level. This "injury" becomes part of who we are. The negative currents affiliated with the feelings of hurt or betrayal or violation that we hold on to penetrate our cells and become part of our physical selves. Not only can it cause illness in our bodies, that energy also pulsates outward and attracts more of the same damaging energy right back to us. We all know someone who was in a bad relationship and continues, time after time, to chose other ill-fitted partners.
In a way, our kids' approach probably works better. They let it out and let it go. Our challenge as adults is to find a way to do that as well--in order to set ourselves free from that weight and that burden. The 4th chakra is the place where the emotional meets the spiritual, and that is where this work is done--in the heart. Compassion and forgiveness are the tools we use to release us from the negative spiral and lift us toward a more peaceful place. There is risk involved by becoming vulnerable and putting ourselves out there. It requires a level of maturity and, as I often discuss, self-love. Forgiveness is a gift to ourselves, not to our offenders. We release the power outside occurrences have over our well-being and give ourselves permission to heal, learn, and continue on wiser. And looking with compassion at the people we would otherwise judge gives us the wonderful opportunity to learn something about the world, about ourselves, and to experience deep gratitude for all that is good in our own lives.
Living in the role of a victim is no way to live. The word victim is defined as "a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance, by the dishonesty of others, or by some impersonal agency." "...as by his or her own emotions or ignorance..." Open your heart. Take charge of your emotional well-being. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness. Look with compassion upon the world. Live out loud and let go. Risk. Give thanks. Laugh big. Cry hard. Feel what you need to feel and allow yourself to get through to the other side. This will make us whole, and this will heal our hurt, and this will offer us the opportunity for the greatest happiness.
peace, love, and more LOVE...
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Closing 36 and Welcoming 37!
So I'm back from my first music festival traveled to solo. I drove 6 hours to the gorgeous shores of the Gulf of Mexico in Alabama to indulge in the first annual Hangout Music Festival. Three days of incredible music, new friends, camping, plenty of cold cocktails, and general absorption of the simple beauty available to us each and every day.
It was such a memorable trip. I have several musical highlights, lots of pictures to remind me of all the fun I packed in to three days, toned calves from walking from stage to stage in the fine, white sand, and a general sense of peace. Someone actually told me at one point over the weekend that my smile was "just happiness." Considering I looked in a mirror only maybe once a day, I'm glad my smile was representing what was going on inside (I'm not sure what my hair was saying). I just love being somewhere with no where to be, no one to be responsible for (besides myself), and all these amazing choices sitting in front of me. So much outdoor time, including a super-fun bike ride with a camping neighbor on Saturday morning, just makes my body feel strong. I'm not saying I want this as my every day, but it feeds my soul to do it a few times a year.
And live music--oh, live music. I liken it to getting a massage, or a hug...you get what you give, and the passion that comes from the performers comes right to me. To be standing in a crowd of people sharing in that passion is electric. We're sharing something special and there will never be another experience just like this one. When I'm there I am 100% present. I can flow moment-to-moment with the music and let my body move in whatever way it is inspired to move. No one is watching me, no one cares--everyone else is fully present in their own moment. Another theme for the weekend which I heard from a few people, from fellow festival-goers to the iced coffee lady..."You do what makes you feel good, honey. Don't worry about those other people."
Laying in my tent during a thunderstorm, snuggled under my covers, I felt like I was in a cocoon. Once the weather passed briefly I stepped out onto the soggy ground and watched the dozens of birds in a frenzy darting from bush to tree. I had no concerns of rain ruining my plans or my outfit, no sense of urgency for appointments I might miss, no longing for the bright sunshine. I was in the moment and full of gratitude for what was given to me. The whole weekend long I had wonderful feeling of perfect timing. I just eased through my days knowing that at every moment I was exactly where I was supposed to be. That is an incredible feeling. I wonder if that is possible in "the real world?" I suppose to aim to have some degree of that is a worthwhile goal, but to revel in in a few times a year when my world does revolve around me is okay--and really, really good.
One thing that I will take away from my magical weekend is to take each challenge or blessing presented to me with gratitude...gratitude for what it has to teach me. Those challenges offer an opportunity to surrender. Face to the sky, arms raised overhead, rain drenching my body and washing away the self-doubt and judgement that can creep in. Those glorious blessings offer an opportunity for humility. Face to the sky, arms raised overhead, sunshine warming my skin as I imagine everything else that is touched by this light and consider my small part in this grand existence.
peace, love, and groovy tunes~
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Random thoughts on "now"
I'm departing from my current chakra theme because I just feel like blogging about what's going on with me right now. I've been trying to post on Wednesdays and I'm a day late so maybe I was just really waiting for the right inspiration.
I am in a really happy place right now. I have very fond memories of a time when I felt I was "there." Two people come to mind when I think of this time (they will remain nameless). I recall feeling as though I was a good friend to these people during this period in their lives--I think it was about 1998. Anyway, I had a calm and a confidence and a...how do I describe it...a comfort in my own skin. I was working and I was engaged, we were having a good time as DINKs (dual-income-no-kids), but I had people in my life that I loved sharing time with and we were really connected.
Weddings, babies, moves, more babies--things can change so fast. I've written before and I will write many times again about my joys as a mother and a wife, but tonight I'm thinking about friendships. Back in 1998 I had the time and the focus to truly listen to the people I care about, and I felt like I had something to say that was helpful to them at the time. That made me feel good. Really good! So many times in the past few years I've thought back about that time and wondered if I'd ever feel that good about who I am again. I wondered if I'd ever be able to put my thoughts in to words in a way that people could understand--and not be asked for a glass of milk in the middle of it!
I've realized recently that I'm there! I am in such a good place. I feel like I can breathe again and as much as I know I need time to myself doing the things I like to do in order to take care of myself, I really need time to nurture the relationships that are so important to me. The pendulum is swinging and I feel like the 8+ years I've spent with babies and toddlers, and all the demands that come along with that, are easing a bit. There is more room in my brain and my heart and my soul to be a good friend again.
This blog has been such a gift to me. I can explore my thoughts and express who I am - and people relate to it! I've always wanted to be inspired and to inspire people (hence, Inspired Living) and if I get even one response to something I write, I feel like I'm a success! I had a few girlfriends take me out for my birthday last night and I was so humbled by the love I received from them. I was almost uncomfortable. What have I done to attract this affection? All I can attribute it to is being myself and sharing that openly. What I have to say isn't going to resonate with everyone, I understand and expect that. But honestly, if a single person thinks about things differently, challenges themselves to do better, or decides to be more gentle in their ways, my gosh...I'm fulfilled.
So tomorrow morning I head out to spend a few days at the beach at a music festival. I'm not going with anyone, but I expect to run in to several familiar faces. I look forward to the "me" time--on my schedule, doing what I want to do. I wish I had someone to go with though. I love music festivals, and I'm okay doing it solo, but I wish I had a friend (besides my wonderful husband who is staying home with our children) who was equally excited as I am. And the last day is my birthday. I bought some yummy cookies at the bakery to share with any new friends I may make. And the music on the schedule for Sunday is fantastic. I'm just figuring if someone was meant to be with me, they would be. The stars aligned for me to do this trip, and I'm thinking I might come out of it stronger, more clear, one rung higher on my ladder. I hope.
peace, love, and happy birthday to me!
I am in a really happy place right now. I have very fond memories of a time when I felt I was "there." Two people come to mind when I think of this time (they will remain nameless). I recall feeling as though I was a good friend to these people during this period in their lives--I think it was about 1998. Anyway, I had a calm and a confidence and a...how do I describe it...a comfort in my own skin. I was working and I was engaged, we were having a good time as DINKs (dual-income-no-kids), but I had people in my life that I loved sharing time with and we were really connected.
Weddings, babies, moves, more babies--things can change so fast. I've written before and I will write many times again about my joys as a mother and a wife, but tonight I'm thinking about friendships. Back in 1998 I had the time and the focus to truly listen to the people I care about, and I felt like I had something to say that was helpful to them at the time. That made me feel good. Really good! So many times in the past few years I've thought back about that time and wondered if I'd ever feel that good about who I am again. I wondered if I'd ever be able to put my thoughts in to words in a way that people could understand--and not be asked for a glass of milk in the middle of it!
I've realized recently that I'm there! I am in such a good place. I feel like I can breathe again and as much as I know I need time to myself doing the things I like to do in order to take care of myself, I really need time to nurture the relationships that are so important to me. The pendulum is swinging and I feel like the 8+ years I've spent with babies and toddlers, and all the demands that come along with that, are easing a bit. There is more room in my brain and my heart and my soul to be a good friend again.
This blog has been such a gift to me. I can explore my thoughts and express who I am - and people relate to it! I've always wanted to be inspired and to inspire people (hence, Inspired Living) and if I get even one response to something I write, I feel like I'm a success! I had a few girlfriends take me out for my birthday last night and I was so humbled by the love I received from them. I was almost uncomfortable. What have I done to attract this affection? All I can attribute it to is being myself and sharing that openly. What I have to say isn't going to resonate with everyone, I understand and expect that. But honestly, if a single person thinks about things differently, challenges themselves to do better, or decides to be more gentle in their ways, my gosh...I'm fulfilled.
So tomorrow morning I head out to spend a few days at the beach at a music festival. I'm not going with anyone, but I expect to run in to several familiar faces. I look forward to the "me" time--on my schedule, doing what I want to do. I wish I had someone to go with though. I love music festivals, and I'm okay doing it solo, but I wish I had a friend (besides my wonderful husband who is staying home with our children) who was equally excited as I am. And the last day is my birthday. I bought some yummy cookies at the bakery to share with any new friends I may make. And the music on the schedule for Sunday is fantastic. I'm just figuring if someone was meant to be with me, they would be. The stars aligned for me to do this trip, and I'm thinking I might come out of it stronger, more clear, one rung higher on my ladder. I hope.
peace, love, and happy birthday to me!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
First Choice = Love
Loving ourselves is really the very first thing we need to do to live a happy life. It is quite simple, but as we all know is not always that easy. It is the love we have for ourselves that resonates outward and draws in loving relationships, positive encounters, and auspicious situations.
There is a pull in the physical world around us that can lead us down a path of feeling inadequate. It takes conscious living, spiritual awareness, to reject these messages and honor the bright being that we innately are. Our own personal power is far stronger than that of the external world around us--if we chose to embrace it. That's where the gift of choice comes in to play. Every choice we make either stokes that internal flame or it dampens it. If our decisions are guided by what we think is expected of us or by fear of what others may think, we aren't growing. If being true to ourselves and living a righteous life drives what we think, what we say, and what we do, we're on the path to higher personal power and greater happiness.
When we are standing in confidence and strength, we have the ability to change the world around us, just by being. Confidence means to believe in your power and ability. If you believe it then it is your truth. Einstein said the ideals most important to him were truth, goodness, and beauty. Making choices based on what is good and right, believing in our value and abilities, and appreciating and respecting all that is divine around us--that seems like a happy journey to me. Does it mean every day is filled with happiness? No--that is where life comes full circle and we get to make a choice again. Each moment we get to decide if we'll follow that inner light that radiates outward and upward or if we'll follow some rules that try to tell us how we're supposed to be living our lives. It's in the times of struggle that we really have opportunity to grow. We know what the right decision is. We just need to have faith in ourselves and truly believe that we are worthy of all the goodness being offered to us.
"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered: Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives: Be kind anyway. If you are... successful you will win some false friends and true enemies: Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank people will try to cheat you: Be honest anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight: Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous of you: Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten by tomorrow: Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough: Give your best anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway." ~Mother Teresa
peace, love, and abounding happiness~
There is a pull in the physical world around us that can lead us down a path of feeling inadequate. It takes conscious living, spiritual awareness, to reject these messages and honor the bright being that we innately are. Our own personal power is far stronger than that of the external world around us--if we chose to embrace it. That's where the gift of choice comes in to play. Every choice we make either stokes that internal flame or it dampens it. If our decisions are guided by what we think is expected of us or by fear of what others may think, we aren't growing. If being true to ourselves and living a righteous life drives what we think, what we say, and what we do, we're on the path to higher personal power and greater happiness.
When we are standing in confidence and strength, we have the ability to change the world around us, just by being. Confidence means to believe in your power and ability. If you believe it then it is your truth. Einstein said the ideals most important to him were truth, goodness, and beauty. Making choices based on what is good and right, believing in our value and abilities, and appreciating and respecting all that is divine around us--that seems like a happy journey to me. Does it mean every day is filled with happiness? No--that is where life comes full circle and we get to make a choice again. Each moment we get to decide if we'll follow that inner light that radiates outward and upward or if we'll follow some rules that try to tell us how we're supposed to be living our lives. It's in the times of struggle that we really have opportunity to grow. We know what the right decision is. We just need to have faith in ourselves and truly believe that we are worthy of all the goodness being offered to us.
"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered: Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives: Be kind anyway. If you are... successful you will win some false friends and true enemies: Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank people will try to cheat you: Be honest anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight: Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous of you: Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten by tomorrow: Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough: Give your best anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway." ~Mother Teresa
peace, love, and abounding happiness~
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Creating Sparks
How fun and exciting and interesting it is to be in a new relationship. It’s so easy to get swept away with the emotions of the moment—and why shouldn’t you? You’re discovering one another, and discovering something new about yourself.
But then, after time, there’s real life. Real life is not so sexy and we don’t always look forward to the next encounter. We can’t always have a deep conversation. After years there isn’t something new to discover on a regular basis.
I think it’s real to yurn for those early days, that curiosity, that spark, those butterflies when something totally new in someone else just turns you on. Marriage, kids, careers, families…despite all these things that try to keep us confined in this little box, remaining the same person day in and day out…we need to keep growing. We need to keep exploring within ourselves so we still have the fuel it takes to ignite that spark—in others and within ourselves. It’s not impossible to have those same reactions after being with the same person for a long time. In many ways it’s deeper. With time and life and experiences come confidence and comfort and security. It’s not the same, and I’m not going to even blow smoke and say that it’s better. Well, in the macro view it is most certainly better. That moment though—that moment of thrill and exuberance—they’re certainly fewer and farther between. But if we keep pushing ourselves to step out of that box we’ve been put in, we are richer, we’re more fascinating, we have the best chance of living a life that has more of those incredible, passionate, and fiery moments.
So what can we do now, as we go through the motions of our daily lives, to connect with that free-spirit that lives in each of us? We can get creative! Paint a picture with your fingers, lay on the ground with your camera and take photographs from a different perspective, listen to music and dance! Change your hair color, wear a fun costume or your favorite heels, have a picnic dinner in the yard! Don't let that box confine you and define who you are--you get to decide who you are. And other people will see your perception of yourself and respond to that. If you want to have more of those exuberant moments in your life, inspire that in others! Get creative and express yourself.
This is part of the essence of the second chakra. It's the same energy that ignites our sensuality that sparks our creativity. In Feng Shui there is even an area of the home that resonates with this energy. This energy is rooted in honor and respect, for others and for ourselves. Nurturing this part of ourselves is wonderful self-care and it shouldn't stop when the newness wears off or when life becomes more routine. In fact, maybe that's when we need to pay the most attention to keeping that fountain full.
peace, love, and being silly...
But then, after time, there’s real life. Real life is not so sexy and we don’t always look forward to the next encounter. We can’t always have a deep conversation. After years there isn’t something new to discover on a regular basis.
I think it’s real to yurn for those early days, that curiosity, that spark, those butterflies when something totally new in someone else just turns you on. Marriage, kids, careers, families…despite all these things that try to keep us confined in this little box, remaining the same person day in and day out…we need to keep growing. We need to keep exploring within ourselves so we still have the fuel it takes to ignite that spark—in others and within ourselves. It’s not impossible to have those same reactions after being with the same person for a long time. In many ways it’s deeper. With time and life and experiences come confidence and comfort and security. It’s not the same, and I’m not going to even blow smoke and say that it’s better. Well, in the macro view it is most certainly better. That moment though—that moment of thrill and exuberance—they’re certainly fewer and farther between. But if we keep pushing ourselves to step out of that box we’ve been put in, we are richer, we’re more fascinating, we have the best chance of living a life that has more of those incredible, passionate, and fiery moments.
So what can we do now, as we go through the motions of our daily lives, to connect with that free-spirit that lives in each of us? We can get creative! Paint a picture with your fingers, lay on the ground with your camera and take photographs from a different perspective, listen to music and dance! Change your hair color, wear a fun costume or your favorite heels, have a picnic dinner in the yard! Don't let that box confine you and define who you are--you get to decide who you are. And other people will see your perception of yourself and respond to that. If you want to have more of those exuberant moments in your life, inspire that in others! Get creative and express yourself.
This is part of the essence of the second chakra. It's the same energy that ignites our sensuality that sparks our creativity. In Feng Shui there is even an area of the home that resonates with this energy. This energy is rooted in honor and respect, for others and for ourselves. Nurturing this part of ourselves is wonderful self-care and it shouldn't stop when the newness wears off or when life becomes more routine. In fact, maybe that's when we need to pay the most attention to keeping that fountain full.
peace, love, and being silly...
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Powerful Intentions
"We invoke into our hearts and into this space the God of our own understanding, be it our higher power, the creative conscious, Mother Earth or the Holy Mother herself. We welcome this essence and grace into our being. May it infuse our practice and this day with the love necessary to make our work meaningful, potent and beneficial for all beings. We ask, dear spirit, that our judgment be transformed into understanding, our resistance into surrender and our fear into faith. May we stand in our power and create space and opportunity so that others may stand in their own. May we stay heart centered and available to all the people we meet and greet them with openness and a willingness to share ideas and experience without judgment, prejudice or fear. Expose our assumptions and limited beliefs so that we may grow, and give us the strength to acknowledge these limitations without shame. May this practice be blessed and may the vibration that exists within each of our hearts be offered outward into this community and our universe as a prayer for healing, unity and peace."
I was inspired by this reading, published by yogi-extraordinaire Seane Corn on Oprah's website. I think I'm going to read it aloud to myself for the next few mornings to start my day with focus and intention.
Here's the link to read the whole passage:
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Building-a-Birthing-Center-in-Uganda
peace, love, and radiating light~
I was inspired by this reading, published by yogi-extraordinaire Seane Corn on Oprah's website. I think I'm going to read it aloud to myself for the next few mornings to start my day with focus and intention.
Here's the link to read the whole passage:
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Building-a-Birthing-Center-in-Uganda
peace, love, and radiating light~
Monday, April 19, 2010
Belonging to Something Bigger
I was born into my family for a reason--we all were. Each one of us has something to learn from one another--each person we encounter in our lives has something to teach us. A child born into a family in the jungles of South America has a completely different experience than a child born into a family in the English countryside. Born in the 1970's I was raised in the midst of different attitudes and beliefs than my mother who was born in the 1940's. There is a tribal energy that we take on as children. Our worlds are so small. We only know what is taught to us by the adults that care for us day-to-day. As we grow and are exposed to more worldly energy, we begin to think bigger and break away from the rules we lived by and form our own beliefs and values based on our own experiences in the world. This is the beginning of spiritual growth.
This tribal energy is related to the first chakra, that sense of belonging to a group. To some it's a family. To others it's a tight group of friends or a religious group. In reality, it can be any of these, and several of these, at different times in our lives. This is what got me thinking today...the times when these changes in affiliations force us to look at ourselves differently and examine who we really are and what sparks our passion. It's not just when we get on the school bus for the first time. It's when we join a sorority in college, move to a new city, join the world of parenthood, or get involved in community activism. We can be catapulted into a tribal change when tragedy strikes--divorce, death, financial challenges, or when good fortune enters our lives--big promotions, getting married, running our first marathon. We become part of a collective group, and we're challenged to find alignment with those around us. In doing so we explore more deeply what we're made of and what we stand for as individuals.
Very often it's the inner drive, whether consciously or unconsciously, that weens us from our particular tribe. All of a sudden we don't seem to have as much in common with the people around us. Maybe members of our group are making decisions that just don't feel right to us. It could be we become sensitive to certain actions or patterns and we feel on edge. This is our intuition speaking--that inner voice--and we have to listen.
It doesn't mean that we can't still love the members of tribe, but personal growth is necessary. Each one of us will have our time of discovery. Sometimes life events put that opportunity in our laps. And although there is a greater plan behind every encounter, we all have the power of choice. We chose to align with the collective group or to assess the energy that is present and break away. We all must be personally responsible for our thoughts and actions, no matter what is going on with the group of people who surround us.
I have gone through this so many times in my life: Pulling away from my parents. Jumping around to different groups of friends in high school, trying to find the place I felt most comfortable (hard for every teenager!). Moving to Atlanta alone to make a new start for myself. Becoming a wife, and starting my family. Moving from the city to the suburbs. Seeking new companions that share similar interests at this phase of my life. I know myself pretty well by now and the spiritual growth I've experienced in the past 10 years has been incredible. I am in touch with the tribal energy of life on this earth, all of us being connected, from my neighbor to the soldier serving overseas, from my 15 year old cat to the lavender sprouts trying to bud in the pot outside my back door. Our energy is connected, our existence is ever-changing, and our potential to grow is inspiring.
peace, love, and belonging to something bigger...
This tribal energy is related to the first chakra, that sense of belonging to a group. To some it's a family. To others it's a tight group of friends or a religious group. In reality, it can be any of these, and several of these, at different times in our lives. This is what got me thinking today...the times when these changes in affiliations force us to look at ourselves differently and examine who we really are and what sparks our passion. It's not just when we get on the school bus for the first time. It's when we join a sorority in college, move to a new city, join the world of parenthood, or get involved in community activism. We can be catapulted into a tribal change when tragedy strikes--divorce, death, financial challenges, or when good fortune enters our lives--big promotions, getting married, running our first marathon. We become part of a collective group, and we're challenged to find alignment with those around us. In doing so we explore more deeply what we're made of and what we stand for as individuals.
Very often it's the inner drive, whether consciously or unconsciously, that weens us from our particular tribe. All of a sudden we don't seem to have as much in common with the people around us. Maybe members of our group are making decisions that just don't feel right to us. It could be we become sensitive to certain actions or patterns and we feel on edge. This is our intuition speaking--that inner voice--and we have to listen.
It doesn't mean that we can't still love the members of tribe, but personal growth is necessary. Each one of us will have our time of discovery. Sometimes life events put that opportunity in our laps. And although there is a greater plan behind every encounter, we all have the power of choice. We chose to align with the collective group or to assess the energy that is present and break away. We all must be personally responsible for our thoughts and actions, no matter what is going on with the group of people who surround us.
I have gone through this so many times in my life: Pulling away from my parents. Jumping around to different groups of friends in high school, trying to find the place I felt most comfortable (hard for every teenager!). Moving to Atlanta alone to make a new start for myself. Becoming a wife, and starting my family. Moving from the city to the suburbs. Seeking new companions that share similar interests at this phase of my life. I know myself pretty well by now and the spiritual growth I've experienced in the past 10 years has been incredible. I am in touch with the tribal energy of life on this earth, all of us being connected, from my neighbor to the soldier serving overseas, from my 15 year old cat to the lavender sprouts trying to bud in the pot outside my back door. Our energy is connected, our existence is ever-changing, and our potential to grow is inspiring.
peace, love, and belonging to something bigger...
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Connecting with Mother Earth
"I want to touch the earth. I want to break it in my hands. I want to grow something wild and unruly." (Cowboy Take Me Away by the Dixie Chics)
A line from one of my favorite songs. I may later blog about other lyrics to this song--the whole thing inspires me. But today, I'm attached to this very first sentiment in the song. I have been spending some time in our designated garden space, turning the soil, adding the compost, monitoring the sun that hits our spot at different times of the day, more filtered by our growing trees than anticipated. This is our little postage stamp of land on this great Earth. To pick up a clump of that red clay and watch it crumble, then mix it with what used to be our morning fruit or the veggies the kids wouldn't eat but is now dark, moist soil, I'm making it better. I'm creating an environment that will in turn produce fruit and vegetables for us to eat (if the sun hangs a little higher in the sky as summer approaches). Working in the garden, cleaning up the wooded area in my backyard, and managing the vine that crawls across my deck makes me feel connected to Mother Earth and connected to my true self.
This vine that I speak of that invades my back deck is incredible. I LOVE it. I call it my fourth child. Once spring hits it's dry, brown coils magically turn bright green--and it starts crawling. It has devoured the railing of the deck. It has crushed several tiki torches that had the misfortune of being placed along it's path. It is WILD and it is UNRULY and it is wonderful.
It takes work. I have to go out there and train it to go to acceptable places. After paying it no attention for a few days, it has been know to wrap it's legs around the porch furniture. I am constantly having to free my wind chimes that get smothered by it's unsupervised growth. And this vine is tough. I can yank and tug to break up masses that form in order to redirect individual sprouts. It doesn't care. I think it likes the attention! It stays green and keeps moving.
As I was out there today I drew the comparison between this vine and my three other children. They are occasionally wild and sometimes unruly. They are free thinkers and complete individuals. They bring me great and abounding JOY. They frustrate me at times with their stubbornness and their aggressive behavior. They creep around sneakily and take hold of what strikes their fancy. They see what is right in front of them, not looking beyond toward any final destination. Their energy is palpable.
I wonder if I was like this as a child. I hope that my mother reads this and maybe even posts a comment. I know I challenged her, was sometimes hard to tame, took my own path regardless of which way she and my father were directing me to go. Did I inspire her as my children inspire me?
There is something about the green of this spring vine--the color speaks of newness, naivete, freshness, hope. I wish that we could all see this in the young people around us. I truly wish that we could all see this in ourselves. As Bob Dylan said, "He who's not busy being born is busy dying." That vine just goes dormant for a few months out of the year, but it always comes back, searching for the unfound, eager to explore new territory, vibrant with life.
I wish that for all of us.
peace, love, and being "fresh"~
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Day 5: You're Already There
I'm going to conclude my 5 days of Feng Shui tips with the core understanding we have to have in order to make this wonderful practice work for us. It's all about energy. We are energetic beings with a complex system that moves and flows and communicates. Everything on the Earth is made up of moving particles that vibrate on a molecular level. Dynamic energy surrounds us, from the soil beneath our feet, to the dandelion that sprouts from the ground, to the dry leaf that falls from the tree, to the bird that flies overhead, to the waves that crash on the shore. All of the energy in the world around us works in a magical and fluid way to create an ever-changing state of being. Change is happening in every moment and this makes an undeniable connection between everything that exists on Earth.
There is another energy present though. Within the beating heart and breathing lungs and thinking brain, we have the essence of our true selves. The power we have to make our own decisions, to love, to fear, to experience joy, and to connect on a deeper, more meaningful level. And with that part of our selves we give another level of energy to seemingly inanimate objects. The piece of art that lifts your spirit each time you glance at it. The tattered blanket your child cannot sleep without at night. The dining table around which you remember sharing meals with your family for decades. The piece of jewelry sitting in your drawer that brings back thoughts of a past love and a broken heart. This may not seem like palpitating energy but it undoubtedly affects the energy of our spirit and is part of this web of existence.
Remember the concept of energy attracts like energy from science class? Our thoughts, actions, words, and beliefs are energy, and what we think, do, say, and believe is going to attract the same to us. As author Mike Dooley says, "Thoughts become things...choose the good ones!" To truly have positive change in our lives, we need to believe that we are already there. We need to speak like we are already there. We need to act as if we're already there. We need to embrace the idea that everything we want out of life is already within us, we just need to make it part of our reality. Affirmations and visualization are wonderful tools by which make this happen. And I am a huge believer in gratitude. When we stop to be grateful for the many blessings in our lives, we realize that we already have everything we need.
I recently read that according to Chinese philosophy, action and contemplation together equal a balanced life. That made me think of Feng Shui and what it takes to create the life that you desire. Feng Shui tells us how to arrange our environment to open up the pathways for positive energy to come into our lives. But we must make these adjustments with intention. There must be the internal, spiritual work that goes along with moving things around. This is what gives the adjustments their power. The words Feng Shui are translated to "wind and water"--the unseen and the seen. Our thoughts and the physical world. They are a reflection of each other.
Think about what your house says about you. Does it reflect the person you believe, deep down, that you are? Does it support the person that you you are striving to be? Does your everyday environment leave you inspired to move down the path to your true bliss? There is a lot of work involved, Feng Shui being one step in the journey. It's time to get started. Time's a wastin'!
peace, love, and NAMASTE!
http://www.cristinzinspiredliving.com
There is another energy present though. Within the beating heart and breathing lungs and thinking brain, we have the essence of our true selves. The power we have to make our own decisions, to love, to fear, to experience joy, and to connect on a deeper, more meaningful level. And with that part of our selves we give another level of energy to seemingly inanimate objects. The piece of art that lifts your spirit each time you glance at it. The tattered blanket your child cannot sleep without at night. The dining table around which you remember sharing meals with your family for decades. The piece of jewelry sitting in your drawer that brings back thoughts of a past love and a broken heart. This may not seem like palpitating energy but it undoubtedly affects the energy of our spirit and is part of this web of existence.
Remember the concept of energy attracts like energy from science class? Our thoughts, actions, words, and beliefs are energy, and what we think, do, say, and believe is going to attract the same to us. As author Mike Dooley says, "Thoughts become things...choose the good ones!" To truly have positive change in our lives, we need to believe that we are already there. We need to speak like we are already there. We need to act as if we're already there. We need to embrace the idea that everything we want out of life is already within us, we just need to make it part of our reality. Affirmations and visualization are wonderful tools by which make this happen. And I am a huge believer in gratitude. When we stop to be grateful for the many blessings in our lives, we realize that we already have everything we need.
I recently read that according to Chinese philosophy, action and contemplation together equal a balanced life. That made me think of Feng Shui and what it takes to create the life that you desire. Feng Shui tells us how to arrange our environment to open up the pathways for positive energy to come into our lives. But we must make these adjustments with intention. There must be the internal, spiritual work that goes along with moving things around. This is what gives the adjustments their power. The words Feng Shui are translated to "wind and water"--the unseen and the seen. Our thoughts and the physical world. They are a reflection of each other.
Think about what your house says about you. Does it reflect the person you believe, deep down, that you are? Does it support the person that you you are striving to be? Does your everyday environment leave you inspired to move down the path to your true bliss? There is a lot of work involved, Feng Shui being one step in the journey. It's time to get started. Time's a wastin'!
peace, love, and NAMASTE!
http://www.cristinzinspiredliving.com
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Day 4: Power to the People!
It often happens that when I advise people on placement of their furniture during a Feng Shui consultation, they respond with "oh, that makes sense!" A lot of Feng Shui does seem like common sense, but something blocks us from drawing these conclusions for ourselves. When your furnishings and accessories are arranged for optimal flow of good energy and with special attention paid to balancing the elements, we get a feeling of "ah-ha! and ahhhh..." Keeping the "power position" in mind when laying out certain pieces is key.
Your bed is a place of rest, regeneration, and intimacy. Its placement and its surroundings are very important for a healthy and prosperous life. The first thing to ensure is that your bed is not directly lined up with the entrance of the room. If you are laying on your back in bed and look down past your toes, you should not see out the door. This is extremely bad Feng Shui and should be changed straight away. Although you don't want your feet heading out the door, you do want to have a view of the door from where you lie. There are many other things to consider when arranging a bedroom, such as equanimity, and use of mirrors and electronics. But if you can see the door when you're laying in bed, that is a great start.
When sitting behind your desk, whether it be in the work place, your home office, or the "kitchen table office", you should also have a direct and clear view of the door. If the orientation of the room or the furniture doesn't allow for this, a mirror should be placed on the wall in front of you so you're not surprised by anyone entering the space. With the optimal seat you have command of the room--a seat of strength and security.
When considering where to put your couch, your favorite leather chair, or your dining room table, a clear view of the main entrance to the room should always be an objective as well. Fact of the matter is, the design of the room may not always allow for this. Again, mirrors work magic, announcing a new entrant to the room by their reflection. Feng Shui offers many solutions to tricky design problems, and each space is unique. If you're living with what you love, you can make it work.
If any of this seems particularly challenging for you, let me help you move some things around! If you're in the market for a new sofa or office furniture, I can help you chose what is right for your space and for the goals you have set. You can visit my website, http://www.cristinzinspiredliving.com, to learn more about my approach and my consultations--I'd love to help!
peace, love, and only welcome surprises...
Your bed is a place of rest, regeneration, and intimacy. Its placement and its surroundings are very important for a healthy and prosperous life. The first thing to ensure is that your bed is not directly lined up with the entrance of the room. If you are laying on your back in bed and look down past your toes, you should not see out the door. This is extremely bad Feng Shui and should be changed straight away. Although you don't want your feet heading out the door, you do want to have a view of the door from where you lie. There are many other things to consider when arranging a bedroom, such as equanimity, and use of mirrors and electronics. But if you can see the door when you're laying in bed, that is a great start.
When sitting behind your desk, whether it be in the work place, your home office, or the "kitchen table office", you should also have a direct and clear view of the door. If the orientation of the room or the furniture doesn't allow for this, a mirror should be placed on the wall in front of you so you're not surprised by anyone entering the space. With the optimal seat you have command of the room--a seat of strength and security.
When considering where to put your couch, your favorite leather chair, or your dining room table, a clear view of the main entrance to the room should always be an objective as well. Fact of the matter is, the design of the room may not always allow for this. Again, mirrors work magic, announcing a new entrant to the room by their reflection. Feng Shui offers many solutions to tricky design problems, and each space is unique. If you're living with what you love, you can make it work.
If any of this seems particularly challenging for you, let me help you move some things around! If you're in the market for a new sofa or office furniture, I can help you chose what is right for your space and for the goals you have set. You can visit my website, http://www.cristinzinspiredliving.com, to learn more about my approach and my consultations--I'd love to help!
peace, love, and only welcome surprises...
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Day 3: Under the Rubble
Spring is right around the corner and one thing I am always driven to do is get down on my knees and in to the corners and scrub all those places that don't see the light for so many months. The tradition of thoroughly cleaning the house in the spring can be traced back to several countries' traditions around the holidays that happen this time of year, or just for the fact that the windows can be open and dust and fumes can be swept outside. No matter where the tradition came from, there is an intrinsic nesting that happens this time of year, and it is a really good thing in Feng Shui.
Clutter is the first thing that needs to be addressed when looking at improving the Feng Shui of a space. If energy cannot flow freely, it gets stuck and stagnant and this can reflect on the quality of your life. If you live amidst clutter and chaos, that is what lives inside you as well. If our mission is to live a peaceful, happy, and vibrant life, the junk has got to go.
Are you a "stuff in piles to deal with as I go" type of person, or are you a "shove it behind a closed door so it's out of my sight" type of person? Either way, we all have work to do. When you walk into a space, notice where your eye goes. If it goes directly to a pile of old bills on the counter or to a bookshelf overloaded with nick-knacks, know that that is where the energy goes as well...and that's where it gets stuck.
You can't hide anything in Feng Shui, so if you risk your life every time you open a closet door, or your car hasn't been in your garage for months, it's safe to say your life is jammed up somewhere. Think about the last time you took a day to clean out a closet. Remember how good it made you feel when the task was complete. You felt lighter, you could breathe better--you felt free! Am I right? Imagine if you always felt that way--that's what we're striving for!
Live with what you love is a good rule to live by. If you don't love it, let it go. If you donate it or give it to a friend, maybe it's just what someone else has been looking for to make their heart sing. And by getting rid of the old, you're making room for new and more auspicious things to enter your life. Take a close look at your "collections" and be sure they're still meaningful to you. If they are, keep them tidy and sparkling. If the stack-system works for you in dealing with paperwork that crosses your desk, just make sure every item is in an active state. If not, file it away for another time. A lot of times, especially this time of year, it's a good idea to just clear the shelves, empty the racks, pull everything out and give the surfaces a good scrubbing. As you do so, think about the good fortune you have had to fill your life with so many treasures. As you put things back, if you see that they're not so much a treasure to you anymore, then purge them. You'll feel so good when you do.
If you look around your house and simply don't know where to begin, give me a call. A Feng Shui consultation is a great spring treat to give you a fresh start and some good perspective. There's so much you want to do, don't let your material belongings bog you down. Don't start off the season of new growth with the things of the past prohibiting your own personal promise. Get yourself out from under the rubble, polish things up and allow your inner light to shine!
peace, love, and big trips to Good Will...
Clutter is the first thing that needs to be addressed when looking at improving the Feng Shui of a space. If energy cannot flow freely, it gets stuck and stagnant and this can reflect on the quality of your life. If you live amidst clutter and chaos, that is what lives inside you as well. If our mission is to live a peaceful, happy, and vibrant life, the junk has got to go.
Are you a "stuff in piles to deal with as I go" type of person, or are you a "shove it behind a closed door so it's out of my sight" type of person? Either way, we all have work to do. When you walk into a space, notice where your eye goes. If it goes directly to a pile of old bills on the counter or to a bookshelf overloaded with nick-knacks, know that that is where the energy goes as well...and that's where it gets stuck.
You can't hide anything in Feng Shui, so if you risk your life every time you open a closet door, or your car hasn't been in your garage for months, it's safe to say your life is jammed up somewhere. Think about the last time you took a day to clean out a closet. Remember how good it made you feel when the task was complete. You felt lighter, you could breathe better--you felt free! Am I right? Imagine if you always felt that way--that's what we're striving for!
Live with what you love is a good rule to live by. If you don't love it, let it go. If you donate it or give it to a friend, maybe it's just what someone else has been looking for to make their heart sing. And by getting rid of the old, you're making room for new and more auspicious things to enter your life. Take a close look at your "collections" and be sure they're still meaningful to you. If they are, keep them tidy and sparkling. If the stack-system works for you in dealing with paperwork that crosses your desk, just make sure every item is in an active state. If not, file it away for another time. A lot of times, especially this time of year, it's a good idea to just clear the shelves, empty the racks, pull everything out and give the surfaces a good scrubbing. As you do so, think about the good fortune you have had to fill your life with so many treasures. As you put things back, if you see that they're not so much a treasure to you anymore, then purge them. You'll feel so good when you do.
If you look around your house and simply don't know where to begin, give me a call. A Feng Shui consultation is a great spring treat to give you a fresh start and some good perspective. There's so much you want to do, don't let your material belongings bog you down. Don't start off the season of new growth with the things of the past prohibiting your own personal promise. Get yourself out from under the rubble, polish things up and allow your inner light to shine!
peace, love, and big trips to Good Will...
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Day 2: Water, Water Everywhere!
Feng shui works to balance the five elements of wood, earth, metal, fire, and water in an environment. When we have a good balance of these elements we feel most peaceful and in harmony in our living or working space. Have you ever walked in to a room and felt uncomfortable? Maybe you've spent time somewhere that left you feeling anxious or impatient, or even unmotivated for reasons you couldn't explain? It's highly likely that there was an imbalance of these key elements--too much fire or too little water--something was just "off." On the flip side, I hope you've enjoyed time in spaces that make you feel at ease, like you didn't want to leave, like it hugs you when you walk in. This environment is probably comprised of a nice collection of each of the five elements.
Each element, in excess or in deficiency, can represent a change in the lives of people living in a space. Attending to the Feng Shui of an environment helps to support what we all want in our lives: good health, prosperity, joy, and love, to name a few. With good intent while practicing Feng Shui, paths can be open for good energy to flow in to your life. If you feel like good things simply trickle into your life, or if you notice your mailbox being flooded with bills, the water element might be something to look at a little more closely.
Water represents prosperity and can be very supportive for finances and career. There are certain areas within a living or working space where water can activate the flow of positive energy and improve these facets of your life. This is something I can walk you through and give you recommendations for with a Feng Shui consultation. I encourage you to take a look at my website at http://www.cristinzinspiredliving.com to learn a bit more about Feng Shui and my services. In the meantime, I'm going to leave you with some practical tips to always keep in mind.
When we think of the presence of water in our homes we automatically think of the bathroom. In this particular room water is moving very quickly and if not tended to can literally and figuratively flush your money down the drain. Keep the lids to your toilets down and the drains to your sinks and tubs closed if possible. It is very important to repair leaky sinks or showers immediately. Adding some plants or even bamboo towels in the bathroom introduce the wood element which draws away some of the water energy. The element of earth also achieves this so using earth tones and ceramics in the bathroom can be very supportive.
Kitchen sink, dishwasher, washing machine, garden hoses -- keep 'em clean and in good working order. I know last fall we had a big flooding problem in my part of the world, and my New England friends are dealing with that now. My advice, as you mop and dry vac and sterilize in your boots and soggy clothes, is to stay positive. Remind yourself that you have a strong home and a strong family and a flood of water cannot uproot you. Bring some more of the earth element, which works to dam up the water, into your home. Before long you'll be past this tough time and your attention can be turned to your spring garden where working with wood (flowers and herbs) and earth (dirt) will further ground your prosperity.
So this week, contemplate how you feel when standing beside a rushing river versus a slow-flowing creek. Sometimes it feels like we're riding the rapids, but if we keep our intention pure and our attitude positive, we always find the shallow pools and find that peace again.
peace, love, and fountains of good fortune...
Each element, in excess or in deficiency, can represent a change in the lives of people living in a space. Attending to the Feng Shui of an environment helps to support what we all want in our lives: good health, prosperity, joy, and love, to name a few. With good intent while practicing Feng Shui, paths can be open for good energy to flow in to your life. If you feel like good things simply trickle into your life, or if you notice your mailbox being flooded with bills, the water element might be something to look at a little more closely.
Water represents prosperity and can be very supportive for finances and career. There are certain areas within a living or working space where water can activate the flow of positive energy and improve these facets of your life. This is something I can walk you through and give you recommendations for with a Feng Shui consultation. I encourage you to take a look at my website at http://www.cristinzinspiredliving.com to learn a bit more about Feng Shui and my services. In the meantime, I'm going to leave you with some practical tips to always keep in mind.
When we think of the presence of water in our homes we automatically think of the bathroom. In this particular room water is moving very quickly and if not tended to can literally and figuratively flush your money down the drain. Keep the lids to your toilets down and the drains to your sinks and tubs closed if possible. It is very important to repair leaky sinks or showers immediately. Adding some plants or even bamboo towels in the bathroom introduce the wood element which draws away some of the water energy. The element of earth also achieves this so using earth tones and ceramics in the bathroom can be very supportive.
Kitchen sink, dishwasher, washing machine, garden hoses -- keep 'em clean and in good working order. I know last fall we had a big flooding problem in my part of the world, and my New England friends are dealing with that now. My advice, as you mop and dry vac and sterilize in your boots and soggy clothes, is to stay positive. Remind yourself that you have a strong home and a strong family and a flood of water cannot uproot you. Bring some more of the earth element, which works to dam up the water, into your home. Before long you'll be past this tough time and your attention can be turned to your spring garden where working with wood (flowers and herbs) and earth (dirt) will further ground your prosperity.
So this week, contemplate how you feel when standing beside a rushing river versus a slow-flowing creek. Sometimes it feels like we're riding the rapids, but if we keep our intention pure and our attitude positive, we always find the shallow pools and find that peace again.
peace, love, and fountains of good fortune...
Monday, March 15, 2010
Day 1: Welcome to my home!
I am going to do five consecutive days of feng shui topics to commemorate this last week of winter. One of the main principles of feng shui is that everything is always in a constant state of change. The seasons are a wonderful example of this, and since living in good balance with nature is one of the things we strive to do with feng shui, I thought this would be a good time to embrace change and teach you all a few things you can do to create harmony and peace in your home.
There is no better place to start than at your front door. The main door to your home is very important in feng shui and this door should be used every day. I know many of us enter our homes primarily through the garage, the kitchen door, or some other entrance, leaving our front door to just sit there and look pretty. I encourage you to use this door whenever possible. This is the primary entrance for good energy to enter your home, and your using it keeps that flow active. If you're not using this door, ask yourself why. Is it not convenient? If so, consider changing where you park. Is it a pain because the lock sticks? Oil it up! Are there bushes that poke you when you approach the front door? Cut those babies back! Even if you come and go from this door to walk your dog or check your mail, that is bringing vital energy to the threshold of your home.
If a guest comes to visit you, what is the path they have to take to get to your front door? Make sure it is safe and well-lit. A meandering walkway is always better than a straight shot to the door. Think about how you feel when you're driving down a curvy country road as opposed to a long, straight highway. It just feels more easeful. Make sure there are pretty plants and flowers to look at and to soften the hard lines of the walkway. And in some cases it's appropriate to have a walkway from the street and the driveway so visitors don't have to dodge between parked cars or trudge through the grass to get to your home.
Once that visitor is standing at your front door, what do they see and how do they feel? Your front stoop should be welcoming and cheerful. Cobwebs, loose bricks, old newspapers, and a tattered mat don't leave a good first impression. Again, make sure this area has good lighting for the evening hours--safety is always the first consideration in feng shui. Just the attention you give to keeping this space clean and fresh does wonders for welcoming positive energy into your home.
You greet your guest (and your good energy) at the door...what next? Does the door open fully and freely or does it bang in to a basket of dirty shoes when it opens? What is in the entryway to welcome you in? Consider putting something there that makes you feel at home when you enter, something that reflects the people who live there and the impression you want to give people when they first arrive. This is the first place to make a statement about the rest of your home.
Many homes have staircases that run right down in the front entry way. Obviously, if this is how your house was designed there isn't much you can do about it. However, this layout is not ideal for the free-flow of energy throughout your floor plan. Placing a mirror on the wall at the bottom of your staircase will help discourage good energy from shooting out your front door. Another trick is to not stair-step pictures on the wall in your stairwell. Encourage the energy to meander down the stairs by creating a horizontal display, or by skipping the artwork all together.
In feng shui there is an energetic map that relates specific areas of your home to different areas of our lives. The front door, in almost all cases, will fall in one of three areas: helpful people and travel, career, or knowledge and self-cultivation. Depending on where your front door lies on the front plane of your house, distinct colors, shapes, and materials in your entryway can support these areas of your life. This is definitely something to be mindful of, and if you'd like some help determining what area this is for you, consider contacting me for a feng shui consultation. It's a fun and fascinating process to see how your environment relates to your life. And it's exciting and empowering to gain new knowledge of how you can create more harmony and prosperity by making conscious changes that are in alignment with what you want out of life.
I'm off to take a broom the corners of my front porch and deal with an unsightly pile of extension cords to the right of my front door. Check in again tomorrow for some more feng shui inspiration!
peace, love, and welcome mats....
There is no better place to start than at your front door. The main door to your home is very important in feng shui and this door should be used every day. I know many of us enter our homes primarily through the garage, the kitchen door, or some other entrance, leaving our front door to just sit there and look pretty. I encourage you to use this door whenever possible. This is the primary entrance for good energy to enter your home, and your using it keeps that flow active. If you're not using this door, ask yourself why. Is it not convenient? If so, consider changing where you park. Is it a pain because the lock sticks? Oil it up! Are there bushes that poke you when you approach the front door? Cut those babies back! Even if you come and go from this door to walk your dog or check your mail, that is bringing vital energy to the threshold of your home.
If a guest comes to visit you, what is the path they have to take to get to your front door? Make sure it is safe and well-lit. A meandering walkway is always better than a straight shot to the door. Think about how you feel when you're driving down a curvy country road as opposed to a long, straight highway. It just feels more easeful. Make sure there are pretty plants and flowers to look at and to soften the hard lines of the walkway. And in some cases it's appropriate to have a walkway from the street and the driveway so visitors don't have to dodge between parked cars or trudge through the grass to get to your home.
Once that visitor is standing at your front door, what do they see and how do they feel? Your front stoop should be welcoming and cheerful. Cobwebs, loose bricks, old newspapers, and a tattered mat don't leave a good first impression. Again, make sure this area has good lighting for the evening hours--safety is always the first consideration in feng shui. Just the attention you give to keeping this space clean and fresh does wonders for welcoming positive energy into your home.
You greet your guest (and your good energy) at the door...what next? Does the door open fully and freely or does it bang in to a basket of dirty shoes when it opens? What is in the entryway to welcome you in? Consider putting something there that makes you feel at home when you enter, something that reflects the people who live there and the impression you want to give people when they first arrive. This is the first place to make a statement about the rest of your home.
Many homes have staircases that run right down in the front entry way. Obviously, if this is how your house was designed there isn't much you can do about it. However, this layout is not ideal for the free-flow of energy throughout your floor plan. Placing a mirror on the wall at the bottom of your staircase will help discourage good energy from shooting out your front door. Another trick is to not stair-step pictures on the wall in your stairwell. Encourage the energy to meander down the stairs by creating a horizontal display, or by skipping the artwork all together.
In feng shui there is an energetic map that relates specific areas of your home to different areas of our lives. The front door, in almost all cases, will fall in one of three areas: helpful people and travel, career, or knowledge and self-cultivation. Depending on where your front door lies on the front plane of your house, distinct colors, shapes, and materials in your entryway can support these areas of your life. This is definitely something to be mindful of, and if you'd like some help determining what area this is for you, consider contacting me for a feng shui consultation. It's a fun and fascinating process to see how your environment relates to your life. And it's exciting and empowering to gain new knowledge of how you can create more harmony and prosperity by making conscious changes that are in alignment with what you want out of life.
I'm off to take a broom the corners of my front porch and deal with an unsightly pile of extension cords to the right of my front door. Check in again tomorrow for some more feng shui inspiration!
peace, love, and welcome mats....
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