Peace starts within

Have you ever said something to your partner, friend, or family member that you immediately wish you could take back? Or have you ever had an argument and woke up the next morning just wishing you had shut up and gone to bed instead? Sometimes we hurt the people we care about. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words DO hurt sometimes! Sometimes even more than sticks and stones. Words can wound us deeply, in a place that doesn't heal nearly as quickly or easily as a physical injury. Why do we do it? Sometimes when I step back and think about it I can logically tell myself that I didn't want to cause pain. That I don't want that person to be more like me--in fact, I probably didn't want me to be like me. When we let our emotions take over and allow painful words to escape, we are first and foremost disrupting the peace within ourselves. That peace was probably already compromised by fear or self-judgment if we got to the point of expressing negative sentiments, making snide remarks, or behaving in a passive-aggressive manner. We all need to have tools to recognize when these feelings are brewing inside and address what is going on within ourselves before we turn the blame on someone else. I like to envision that little flame deep in my core that never goes out. Even when it's dim, it's there, and focusing on that reminds me that I am having a human experience but I am larger than my problems and with each challenge I can learn more and become a fuller person. That light will shine brighter on the other side of this bump in the road. After going through that exercise I can soften around whatever hostility is surrounding me. In doing this, I change the whole energy of my environment.

This is what it means when we hear "Peace starts from within." And it applies to interpersonal relationships as well as it applies to world peace. Why do we hurt each other? Because we don't have peace within. It all starts with that little flame that is within all of us. It's what you see when you look yourself in the eye in the mirror--it all starts there. There's an old Chinese proverb that goes something like this: "If you have harmony within, you will have harmony at home. If you have harmony at home, you will have harmony in your community. Harmony in your community creates harmony in your country. Harmony in your country creates harmony in the world."

When you look at your neighbor, do you see a reflection of yourself? When you look at your child, do you wish they had the wisdom you've acquired through your life experiences? When you look at a politician, do you wonder how another person could have such a different view than you? Do you want everyone to be more of the same? More like you? I hope not. I hope you can look at any person and see their flaws, their beauty, their struggles, their joy...and see your own. If our hearts are open to the differences in the world, then we are honoring ourselves. With this, all of our flames can shine brightly and peace can spread from one individual to the next. Like a tidal wave it can wash over the entire planet.

peace, love, and kind words...