Time Suckage

I took my kids to the library today and ventured to the quieter adult section to find a book on Hindu Mythology, a recent interest. In the same section, an area chock-full of fascinating materials from yoga to cyclopses, I pulled a book from the shelves that looked interesting from the spine. After holding it in my hands for about a minute I realized I have already read it cover to cover. I checked it out of this same library maybe--I don't know--maybe 2 years ago. It was recommended to me by the librarian checking me out. I went back to the stacks to find it, her review so glowing. I devoured it, finding inspiration on every page. As I was holding it today I was thrilled at the prospect of revisiting this piece. But when did I find the time to read it the first time? I recall sitting on the futon in my home office, I remember making notes, probably even blogging about the paths my thoughts travelled as I contemplated the messages in this text. When did I find time to blog? I love blogging! I love reading books that inspire me and make me think and ponder!

How did I lose this time?!

It's pathetic that it's a cliche now, but Facebook is a huge culprit. Damn it, woman! Check out already. Check out and CHECK IN. I have never been good at time management or prioritization. There is something magnetic--like those giant horseshoe type magnets--about Facebook. But I cower to think about how many hours I have wasted being a voyeur in other people's lives. And I'm a poster--I post a lot. I get pretty good feedback...I think I'm pretty good at it. But really, if I didn't share that funny thing that my kid said or the "check out the cool thing I'm doing right now" picture would my life be any worse? I'm not going to say I'm stopping, I'm just making a consideration.

And as a Mom of young children, they change every year and season-to-season things are not the same. This summer is a completely different experience than last summer. It requires constant readjusting and refocusing. It's hard to keep up! My kids are changing at a much faster pace than I am and that's nature, but I have to make the time to nurture my own change as we go. I need to keep reading (or rereading!). I need to keep writing. I need to keep my eye on my personal goals and do something to step closer to them each and every day. And I need to be present enough to recognize when those goals morph in to something different and direct even a little bit of energy to snapping a new line between here and my new destination.

I love Facebook, really. And I love my kids. And I love my kids' school. And I love cooking meals. And I love exercise. And I love my girlfriends. And I love housework. Ha! No I don't! But I try to love it as I'm doing it because it has to be done.

I need to love myself enough to work my own life mission, the discovery of my passion, the quiet, contemplative time back in to my daily schedule. I need to put it on my Google calendar. I need to be willing to drop everything and retreat inside--and stay there a while.

Gosh, writing this felt SO GOOD!!

peace, love, and Spiritual Literacy (the book I checked out of the library again)~