Closing 36 and Welcoming 37!

So I'm back from my first music festival traveled to solo. I drove 6 hours to the gorgeous shores of the Gulf of Mexico in Alabama to indulge in the first annual Hangout Music Festival. Three days of incredible music, new friends, camping, plenty of cold cocktails, and general absorption of the simple beauty available to us each and every day.

It was such a memorable trip. I have several musical highlights, lots of pictures to remind me of all the fun I packed in to three days, toned calves from walking from stage to stage in the fine, white sand, and a general sense of peace. Someone actually told me at one point over the weekend that my smile was "just happiness." Considering I looked in a mirror only maybe once a day, I'm glad my smile was representing what was going on inside (I'm not sure what my hair was saying). I just love being somewhere with no where to be, no one to be responsible for (besides myself), and all these amazing choices sitting in front of me. So much outdoor time, including a super-fun bike ride with a camping neighbor on Saturday morning, just makes my body feel strong. I'm not saying I want this as my every day, but it feeds my soul to do it a few times a year.

And live music--oh, live music. I liken it to getting a massage, or a hug...you get what you give, and the passion that comes from the performers comes right to me. To be standing in a crowd of people sharing in that passion is electric. We're sharing something special and there will never be another experience just like this one. When I'm there I am 100% present. I can flow moment-to-moment with the music and let my body move in whatever way it is inspired to move. No one is watching me, no one cares--everyone else is fully present in their own moment. Another theme for the weekend which I heard from a few people, from fellow festival-goers to the iced coffee lady..."You do what makes you feel good, honey. Don't worry about those other people."

Laying in my tent during a thunderstorm, snuggled under my covers, I felt like I was in a cocoon. Once the weather passed briefly I stepped out onto the soggy ground and watched the dozens of birds in a frenzy darting from bush to tree. I had no concerns of rain ruining my plans or my outfit, no sense of urgency for appointments I might miss, no longing for the bright sunshine. I was in the moment and full of gratitude for what was given to me. The whole weekend long I had wonderful feeling of perfect timing. I just eased through my days knowing that at every moment I was exactly where I was supposed to be. That is an incredible feeling. I wonder if that is possible in "the real world?" I suppose to aim to have some degree of that is a worthwhile goal, but to revel in in a few times a year when my world does revolve around me is okay--and really, really good.

One thing that I will take away from my magical weekend is to take each challenge or blessing presented to me with gratitude...gratitude for what it has to teach me. Those challenges offer an opportunity to surrender. Face to the sky, arms raised overhead, rain drenching my body and washing away the self-doubt and judgement that can creep in. Those glorious blessings offer an opportunity for humility. Face to the sky, arms raised overhead, sunshine warming my skin as I imagine everything else that is touched by this light and consider my small part in this grand existence.

peace, love, and groovy tunes~

Random thoughts on "now"

I'm departing from my current chakra theme because I just feel like blogging about what's going on with me right now. I've been trying to post on Wednesdays and I'm a day late so maybe I was just really waiting for the right inspiration.

I am in a really happy place right now. I have very fond memories of a time when I felt I was "there." Two people come to mind when I think of this time (they will remain nameless). I recall feeling as though I was a good friend to these people during this period in their lives--I think it was about 1998. Anyway, I had a calm and a confidence and a...how do I describe it...a comfort in my own skin. I was working and I was engaged, we were having a good time as DINKs (dual-income-no-kids), but I had people in my life that I loved sharing time with and we were really connected.

Weddings, babies, moves, more babies--things can change so fast. I've written before and I will write many times again about my joys as a mother and a wife, but tonight I'm thinking about friendships. Back in 1998 I had the time and the focus to truly listen to the people I care about, and I felt like I had something to say that was helpful to them at the time. That made me feel good. Really good! So many times in the past few years I've thought back about that time and wondered if I'd ever feel that good about who I am again. I wondered if I'd ever be able to put my thoughts in to words in a way that people could understand--and not be asked for a glass of milk in the middle of it!

I've realized recently that I'm there! I am in such a good place. I feel like I can breathe again and as much as I know I need time to myself doing the things I like to do in order to take care of myself, I really need time to nurture the relationships that are so important to me. The pendulum is swinging and I feel like the 8+ years I've spent with babies and toddlers, and all the demands that come along with that, are easing a bit. There is more room in my brain and my heart and my soul to be a good friend again.

This blog has been such a gift to me. I can explore my thoughts and express who I am - and people relate to it! I've always wanted to be inspired and to inspire people (hence, Inspired Living) and if I get even one response to something I write, I feel like I'm a success! I had a few girlfriends take me out for my birthday last night and I was so humbled by the love I received from them. I was almost uncomfortable. What have I done to attract this affection? All I can attribute it to is being myself and sharing that openly. What I have to say isn't going to resonate with everyone, I understand and expect that. But honestly, if a single person thinks about things differently, challenges themselves to do better, or decides to be more gentle in their ways, my gosh...I'm fulfilled.

So tomorrow morning I head out to spend a few days at the beach at a music festival. I'm not going with anyone, but I expect to run in to several familiar faces. I look forward to the "me" time--on my schedule, doing what I want to do. I wish I had someone to go with though. I love music festivals, and I'm okay doing it solo, but I wish I had a friend (besides my wonderful husband who is staying home with our children) who was equally excited as I am. And the last day is my birthday. I bought some yummy cookies at the bakery to share with any new friends I may make. And the music on the schedule for Sunday is fantastic. I'm just figuring if someone was meant to be with me, they would be. The stars aligned for me to do this trip, and I'm thinking I might come out of it stronger, more clear, one rung higher on my ladder. I hope.

peace, love, and happy birthday to me!

First Choice = Love

Loving ourselves is really the very first thing we need to do to live a happy life. It is quite simple, but as we all know is not always that easy. It is the love we have for ourselves that resonates outward and draws in loving relationships, positive encounters, and auspicious situations.

There is a pull in the physical world around us that can lead us down a path of feeling inadequate. It takes conscious living, spiritual awareness, to reject these messages and honor the bright being that we innately are. Our own personal power is far stronger than that of the external world around us--if we chose to embrace it. That's where the gift of choice comes in to play. Every choice we make either stokes that internal flame or it dampens it. If our decisions are guided by what we think is expected of us or by fear of what others may think, we aren't growing. If being true to ourselves and living a righteous life drives what we think, what we say, and what we do, we're on the path to higher personal power and greater happiness.

When we are standing in confidence and strength, we have the ability to change the world around us, just by being. Confidence means to believe in your power and ability. If you believe it then it is your truth. Einstein said the ideals most important to him were truth, goodness, and beauty. Making choices based on what is good and right, believing in our value and abilities, and appreciating and respecting all that is divine around us--that seems like a happy journey to me. Does it mean every day is filled with happiness? No--that is where life comes full circle and we get to make a choice again. Each moment we get to decide if we'll follow that inner light that radiates outward and upward or if we'll follow some rules that try to tell us how we're supposed to be living our lives. It's in the times of struggle that we really have opportunity to grow. We know what the right decision is. We just need to have faith in ourselves and truly believe that we are worthy of all the goodness being offered to us.

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered: Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives: Be kind anyway. If you are... successful you will win some false friends and true enemies: Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank people will try to cheat you: Be honest anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight: Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous of you: Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten by tomorrow: Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough: Give your best anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway." ~Mother Teresa

peace, love, and abounding happiness~