Mama Bear evolved

"Out of all the little boys in the world, why did God chose to give me the very best one?"
"Because you are perfect for me, and I am perfect for you."

Partly inspired by Dr. Phil, partly my own maternal material, I've shared the nightly presence of this bedtime exchange between my son and I with many people. It is one of the proudest moments of my day.

It has not been easy to be his mom. But you know what? No one ever told me parenting was going to be easy. Looking back to eight years ago when I first became a mother, it wasn't easy then, even with one of the sweetest, most divine babies God ever made (she is still divinely sweet as an almost-eight year old).

God looked at me and decided that this little soul needed to be put under my care. He looked at our family, what it was and what it was to become, and precisely chose him to be a part of our curvy, bumpy puzzle. With him in it, with all five of us in it, our puzzle is complete. The picture it produces is a beautiful sight.

The Mama Bear syndrome is something I'm curious about and like to explore. I've just realized recently that I've matured as a Mama Bear, no longer as concerned about what others think and more concerned with my own thoughts. It used to be I was afraid I was being judged as a mother if my children misbehaved or did something odd. Or I was afraid that someone else's internal dialogue was asking, "what's wrong with that kid?" Now I've truly come to accept that these children are not mine to sculpt and control. These are three unique individuals who are growing and developing through their own personal experiences in the world. I am here to guide them, to keep them safe and healthy. I try to set a good example of how to live a balanced life. I want to inspire them to be aware, grateful, thoughtful, responsible, confident.

So now when Mama Bear comes out, I'm defending the person my child IS. Someone commented the other day that my son didn't listen to what anyone told him to do. That would have put a pit in my stomach a couple years ago, sending me into a swirl of feelings of inadequacy. Mama Bear leaped out this time declaring that my son is very self-motivated and that trait is going to serve him well down the road. This statement/criticism came from the same person who didn't understand why my three year old was permitted to chose her own clothes each morning. He didn't understand until I explained it to him, then I think he was on board. My children have caused me to think differently, and maybe now I can help others to think differently.

I have something to learn from my son--many things, I'm sure. I will advocate for him and I will celebrate him. I am so grateful to have been able to be home with him every day during those early years when we were all just trying to figure it out. And now he's showing me that this is who he is. He has not made it easy, and for that I'm thankful. I am a better mother and a better person for having to struggle and persevere. And at the end of each day, to be able to look in his eyes and express that unconditional love, I feel that I am doing the job God assigned me well. I feel proud and successful because he knows how exceptional he is. He is a gift to me and I so look forward to discovering all he has to teach me as he grows from a boy to a man. And hopefully he'll find plenty to learn from his Mama Bear as well.