Closing 36 and Welcoming 37!

So I'm back from my first music festival traveled to solo. I drove 6 hours to the gorgeous shores of the Gulf of Mexico in Alabama to indulge in the first annual Hangout Music Festival. Three days of incredible music, new friends, camping, plenty of cold cocktails, and general absorption of the simple beauty available to us each and every day.

It was such a memorable trip. I have several musical highlights, lots of pictures to remind me of all the fun I packed in to three days, toned calves from walking from stage to stage in the fine, white sand, and a general sense of peace. Someone actually told me at one point over the weekend that my smile was "just happiness." Considering I looked in a mirror only maybe once a day, I'm glad my smile was representing what was going on inside (I'm not sure what my hair was saying). I just love being somewhere with no where to be, no one to be responsible for (besides myself), and all these amazing choices sitting in front of me. So much outdoor time, including a super-fun bike ride with a camping neighbor on Saturday morning, just makes my body feel strong. I'm not saying I want this as my every day, but it feeds my soul to do it a few times a year.

And live music--oh, live music. I liken it to getting a massage, or a hug...you get what you give, and the passion that comes from the performers comes right to me. To be standing in a crowd of people sharing in that passion is electric. We're sharing something special and there will never be another experience just like this one. When I'm there I am 100% present. I can flow moment-to-moment with the music and let my body move in whatever way it is inspired to move. No one is watching me, no one cares--everyone else is fully present in their own moment. Another theme for the weekend which I heard from a few people, from fellow festival-goers to the iced coffee lady..."You do what makes you feel good, honey. Don't worry about those other people."

Laying in my tent during a thunderstorm, snuggled under my covers, I felt like I was in a cocoon. Once the weather passed briefly I stepped out onto the soggy ground and watched the dozens of birds in a frenzy darting from bush to tree. I had no concerns of rain ruining my plans or my outfit, no sense of urgency for appointments I might miss, no longing for the bright sunshine. I was in the moment and full of gratitude for what was given to me. The whole weekend long I had wonderful feeling of perfect timing. I just eased through my days knowing that at every moment I was exactly where I was supposed to be. That is an incredible feeling. I wonder if that is possible in "the real world?" I suppose to aim to have some degree of that is a worthwhile goal, but to revel in in a few times a year when my world does revolve around me is okay--and really, really good.

One thing that I will take away from my magical weekend is to take each challenge or blessing presented to me with gratitude...gratitude for what it has to teach me. Those challenges offer an opportunity to surrender. Face to the sky, arms raised overhead, rain drenching my body and washing away the self-doubt and judgement that can creep in. Those glorious blessings offer an opportunity for humility. Face to the sky, arms raised overhead, sunshine warming my skin as I imagine everything else that is touched by this light and consider my small part in this grand existence.

peace, love, and groovy tunes~

Random thoughts on "now"

I'm departing from my current chakra theme because I just feel like blogging about what's going on with me right now. I've been trying to post on Wednesdays and I'm a day late so maybe I was just really waiting for the right inspiration.

I am in a really happy place right now. I have very fond memories of a time when I felt I was "there." Two people come to mind when I think of this time (they will remain nameless). I recall feeling as though I was a good friend to these people during this period in their lives--I think it was about 1998. Anyway, I had a calm and a confidence and a...how do I describe it...a comfort in my own skin. I was working and I was engaged, we were having a good time as DINKs (dual-income-no-kids), but I had people in my life that I loved sharing time with and we were really connected.

Weddings, babies, moves, more babies--things can change so fast. I've written before and I will write many times again about my joys as a mother and a wife, but tonight I'm thinking about friendships. Back in 1998 I had the time and the focus to truly listen to the people I care about, and I felt like I had something to say that was helpful to them at the time. That made me feel good. Really good! So many times in the past few years I've thought back about that time and wondered if I'd ever feel that good about who I am again. I wondered if I'd ever be able to put my thoughts in to words in a way that people could understand--and not be asked for a glass of milk in the middle of it!

I've realized recently that I'm there! I am in such a good place. I feel like I can breathe again and as much as I know I need time to myself doing the things I like to do in order to take care of myself, I really need time to nurture the relationships that are so important to me. The pendulum is swinging and I feel like the 8+ years I've spent with babies and toddlers, and all the demands that come along with that, are easing a bit. There is more room in my brain and my heart and my soul to be a good friend again.

This blog has been such a gift to me. I can explore my thoughts and express who I am - and people relate to it! I've always wanted to be inspired and to inspire people (hence, Inspired Living) and if I get even one response to something I write, I feel like I'm a success! I had a few girlfriends take me out for my birthday last night and I was so humbled by the love I received from them. I was almost uncomfortable. What have I done to attract this affection? All I can attribute it to is being myself and sharing that openly. What I have to say isn't going to resonate with everyone, I understand and expect that. But honestly, if a single person thinks about things differently, challenges themselves to do better, or decides to be more gentle in their ways, my gosh...I'm fulfilled.

So tomorrow morning I head out to spend a few days at the beach at a music festival. I'm not going with anyone, but I expect to run in to several familiar faces. I look forward to the "me" time--on my schedule, doing what I want to do. I wish I had someone to go with though. I love music festivals, and I'm okay doing it solo, but I wish I had a friend (besides my wonderful husband who is staying home with our children) who was equally excited as I am. And the last day is my birthday. I bought some yummy cookies at the bakery to share with any new friends I may make. And the music on the schedule for Sunday is fantastic. I'm just figuring if someone was meant to be with me, they would be. The stars aligned for me to do this trip, and I'm thinking I might come out of it stronger, more clear, one rung higher on my ladder. I hope.

peace, love, and happy birthday to me!

First Choice = Love

Loving ourselves is really the very first thing we need to do to live a happy life. It is quite simple, but as we all know is not always that easy. It is the love we have for ourselves that resonates outward and draws in loving relationships, positive encounters, and auspicious situations.

There is a pull in the physical world around us that can lead us down a path of feeling inadequate. It takes conscious living, spiritual awareness, to reject these messages and honor the bright being that we innately are. Our own personal power is far stronger than that of the external world around us--if we chose to embrace it. That's where the gift of choice comes in to play. Every choice we make either stokes that internal flame or it dampens it. If our decisions are guided by what we think is expected of us or by fear of what others may think, we aren't growing. If being true to ourselves and living a righteous life drives what we think, what we say, and what we do, we're on the path to higher personal power and greater happiness.

When we are standing in confidence and strength, we have the ability to change the world around us, just by being. Confidence means to believe in your power and ability. If you believe it then it is your truth. Einstein said the ideals most important to him were truth, goodness, and beauty. Making choices based on what is good and right, believing in our value and abilities, and appreciating and respecting all that is divine around us--that seems like a happy journey to me. Does it mean every day is filled with happiness? No--that is where life comes full circle and we get to make a choice again. Each moment we get to decide if we'll follow that inner light that radiates outward and upward or if we'll follow some rules that try to tell us how we're supposed to be living our lives. It's in the times of struggle that we really have opportunity to grow. We know what the right decision is. We just need to have faith in ourselves and truly believe that we are worthy of all the goodness being offered to us.

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered: Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives: Be kind anyway. If you are... successful you will win some false friends and true enemies: Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank people will try to cheat you: Be honest anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight: Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous of you: Be happy anyway. The good you do today, will often be forgotten by tomorrow: Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough: Give your best anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway." ~Mother Teresa

peace, love, and abounding happiness~

Creating Sparks

How fun and exciting and interesting it is to be in a new relationship. It’s so easy to get swept away with the emotions of the moment—and why shouldn’t you? You’re discovering one another, and discovering something new about yourself.

But then, after time, there’s real life. Real life is not so sexy and we don’t always look forward to the next encounter. We can’t always have a deep conversation. After years there isn’t something new to discover on a regular basis.

I think it’s real to yurn for those early days, that curiosity, that spark, those butterflies when something totally new in someone else just turns you on. Marriage, kids, careers, families…despite all these things that try to keep us confined in this little box, remaining the same person day in and day out…we need to keep growing. We need to keep exploring within ourselves so we still have the fuel it takes to ignite that spark—in others and within ourselves. It’s not impossible to have those same reactions after being with the same person for a long time. In many ways it’s deeper. With time and life and experiences come confidence and comfort and security. It’s not the same, and I’m not going to even blow smoke and say that it’s better. Well, in the macro view it is most certainly better. That moment though—that moment of thrill and exuberance—they’re certainly fewer and farther between. But if we keep pushing ourselves to step out of that box we’ve been put in, we are richer, we’re more fascinating, we have the best chance of living a life that has more of those incredible, passionate, and fiery moments.

So what can we do now, as we go through the motions of our daily lives, to connect with that free-spirit that lives in each of us? We can get creative! Paint a picture with your fingers, lay on the ground with your camera and take photographs from a different perspective, listen to music and dance! Change your hair color, wear a fun costume or your favorite heels, have a picnic dinner in the yard! Don't let that box confine you and define who you are--you get to decide who you are. And other people will see your perception of yourself and respond to that. If you want to have more of those exuberant moments in your life, inspire that in others! Get creative and express yourself.

This is part of the essence of the second chakra. It's the same energy that ignites our sensuality that sparks our creativity. In Feng Shui there is even an area of the home that resonates with this energy. This energy is rooted in honor and respect, for others and for ourselves. Nurturing this part of ourselves is wonderful self-care and it shouldn't stop when the newness wears off or when life becomes more routine. In fact, maybe that's when we need to pay the most attention to keeping that fountain full.

peace, love, and being silly...

Powerful Intentions

"We invoke into our hearts and into this space the God of our own understanding, be it our higher power, the creative conscious, Mother Earth or the Holy Mother herself. We welcome this essence and grace into our being. May it infuse our practice and this day with the love necessary to make our work meaningful, potent and beneficial for all beings. We ask, dear spirit, that our judgment be transformed into understanding, our resistance into surrender and our fear into faith. May we stand in our power and create space and opportunity so that others may stand in their own. May we stay heart centered and available to all the people we meet and greet them with openness and a willingness to share ideas and experience without judgment, prejudice or fear. Expose our assumptions and limited beliefs so that we may grow, and give us the strength to acknowledge these limitations without shame. May this practice be blessed and may the vibration that exists within each of our hearts be offered outward into this community and our universe as a prayer for healing, unity and peace."

I was inspired by this reading, published by yogi-extraordinaire Seane Corn on Oprah's website. I think I'm going to read it aloud to myself for the next few mornings to start my day with focus and intention.

Here's the link to read the whole passage:
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Building-a-Birthing-Center-in-Uganda

peace, love, and radiating light~

Belonging to Something Bigger

I was born into my family for a reason--we all were. Each one of us has something to learn from one another--each person we encounter in our lives has something to teach us. A child born into a family in the jungles of South America has a completely different experience than a child born into a family in the English countryside. Born in the 1970's I was raised in the midst of different attitudes and beliefs than my mother who was born in the 1940's. There is a tribal energy that we take on as children. Our worlds are so small. We only know what is taught to us by the adults that care for us day-to-day. As we grow and are exposed to more worldly energy, we begin to think bigger and break away from the rules we lived by and form our own beliefs and values based on our own experiences in the world. This is the beginning of spiritual growth.

This tribal energy is related to the first chakra, that sense of belonging to a group. To some it's a family. To others it's a tight group of friends or a religious group. In reality, it can be any of these, and several of these, at different times in our lives. This is what got me thinking today...the times when these changes in affiliations force us to look at ourselves differently and examine who we really are and what sparks our passion. It's not just when we get on the school bus for the first time. It's when we join a sorority in college, move to a new city, join the world of parenthood, or get involved in community activism. We can be catapulted into a tribal change when tragedy strikes--divorce, death, financial challenges, or when good fortune enters our lives--big promotions, getting married, running our first marathon. We become part of a collective group, and we're challenged to find alignment with those around us. In doing so we explore more deeply what we're made of and what we stand for as individuals.

Very often it's the inner drive, whether consciously or unconsciously, that weens us from our particular tribe. All of a sudden we don't seem to have as much in common with the people around us. Maybe members of our group are making decisions that just don't feel right to us. It could be we become sensitive to certain actions or patterns and we feel on edge. This is our intuition speaking--that inner voice--and we have to listen.

It doesn't mean that we can't still love the members of tribe, but personal growth is necessary. Each one of us will have our time of discovery. Sometimes life events put that opportunity in our laps. And although there is a greater plan behind every encounter, we all have the power of choice. We chose to align with the collective group or to assess the energy that is present and break away. We all must be personally responsible for our thoughts and actions, no matter what is going on with the group of people who surround us.

I have gone through this so many times in my life: Pulling away from my parents. Jumping around to different groups of friends in high school, trying to find the place I felt most comfortable (hard for every teenager!). Moving to Atlanta alone to make a new start for myself. Becoming a wife, and starting my family. Moving from the city to the suburbs. Seeking new companions that share similar interests at this phase of my life. I know myself pretty well by now and the spiritual growth I've experienced in the past 10 years has been incredible. I am in touch with the tribal energy of life on this earth, all of us being connected, from my neighbor to the soldier serving overseas, from my 15 year old cat to the lavender sprouts trying to bud in the pot outside my back door. Our energy is connected, our existence is ever-changing, and our potential to grow is inspiring.

peace, love, and belonging to something bigger...

Connecting with Mother Earth

"I want to touch the earth. I want to break it in my hands. I want to grow something wild and unruly." (Cowboy Take Me Away by the Dixie Chics)

A line from one of my favorite songs. I may later blog about other lyrics to this song--the whole thing inspires me. But today, I'm attached to this very first sentiment in the song. I have been spending some time in our designated garden space, turning the soil, adding the compost, monitoring the sun that hits our spot at different times of the day, more filtered by our growing trees than anticipated. This is our little postage stamp of land on this great Earth. To pick up a clump of that red clay and watch it crumble, then mix it with what used to be our morning fruit or the veggies the kids wouldn't eat but is now dark, moist soil, I'm making it better. I'm creating an environment that will in turn produce fruit and vegetables for us to eat (if the sun hangs a little higher in the sky as summer approaches). Working in the garden, cleaning up the wooded area in my backyard, and managing the vine that crawls across my deck makes me feel connected to Mother Earth and connected to my true self.

This vine that I speak of that invades my back deck is incredible. I LOVE it. I call it my fourth child. Once spring hits it's dry, brown coils magically turn bright green--and it starts crawling. It has devoured the railing of the deck. It has crushed several tiki torches that had the misfortune of being placed along it's path. It is WILD and it is UNRULY and it is wonderful.



It takes work. I have to go out there and train it to go to acceptable places. After paying it no attention for a few days, it has been know to wrap it's legs around the porch furniture. I am constantly having to free my wind chimes that get smothered by it's unsupervised growth. And this vine is tough. I can yank and tug to break up masses that form in order to redirect individual sprouts. It doesn't care. I think it likes the attention! It stays green and keeps moving.

As I was out there today I drew the comparison between this vine and my three other children. They are occasionally wild and sometimes unruly. They are free thinkers and complete individuals. They bring me great and abounding JOY. They frustrate me at times with their stubbornness and their aggressive behavior. They creep around sneakily and take hold of what strikes their fancy. They see what is right in front of them, not looking beyond toward any final destination. Their energy is palpable.

I wonder if I was like this as a child. I hope that my mother reads this and maybe even posts a comment. I know I challenged her, was sometimes hard to tame, took my own path regardless of which way she and my father were directing me to go. Did I inspire her as my children inspire me?

There is something about the green of this spring vine--the color speaks of newness, naivete, freshness, hope. I wish that we could all see this in the young people around us. I truly wish that we could all see this in ourselves. As Bob Dylan said, "He who's not busy being born is busy dying." That vine just goes dormant for a few months out of the year, but it always comes back, searching for the unfound, eager to explore new territory, vibrant with life.

I wish that for all of us.

peace, love, and being "fresh"~